| And, sometimes it is not the destination, but rather the journey that matters. |
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| AXE. |
[27 Nov 2006|11:46pm] |
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mood |
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 High on Axe |
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ASHJGUGVSYGDVHGDV!!!
Lesson #1) Be mindful of when you dryclean your coat. Doing this on a day it rains is bad.
Lesson #2) If you dryclean your coat, make sure your dog has not peed on your other coat.
LIFE LESSON: NEVER EVER BORROW A SWEATSHIRT COVERED IN AXE.
The smell is so distracting... but the sweatshirt is warm and fuzzy too~~ WHEEE!!!! *Runs around in circles and juggles the chemicals in Bio*
And the waterheater's side went out and plastered the garage in boiling water... nothing was lost, but a few cabinets got their bottoms wet, a couple boxes died, a few things melted and it was a big mess. I woke up way too early that morning =_=... to the screams of loud profanity and calls for buckets, which atleast was entertaining. A good spazfest that isn't directed at you is refreshing, harhar.
House of Leaves is the weirdest book ever. And it owns much ass.
KLJBUYVSDUGBFJHBAYUGBFOAWNVYGACJIIOJNIEUGUAYDVFIJH axe.
That is all.
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[16 Nov 2006|10:25pm] |
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music |
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In the Year 2525 |
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I.don't.post.enough.
As always, things come and go, and that damn river of time still smells like a sewer, so it's no wonder i'm trying to swim upstream.
They finally had court. I was there, interrogated for hours. The result was guilty on all counts. The charge is 56 years to life, and while they wont deliver the sentance for awhile, the result is the same. I'd say I want to be happy, and celebrate, but in reality all I can do is be glad it's finally over. It was only bullshit to begin with.
I hardly log on AIM anymore, anyone who wants to reach me has to do it through MSN these days. I'm having issues with loosing sight of my goal again, whatever it really was to begin with. I don't want a really high-end fancy corporate job, to get paid a bazillion dollars, or live in a beauuutiful house. I know that I'll need a highschool degree to get WHEREVER I go, so I know I need to finish that. What am I aiming for?
I just want to live sofar, heh. I'll think about it later.
On a side note, some people are stupider than you always thought they were, and others are surprisingly smarter.
I'm always on MSN now, MESSAGE ME SOMETIME WHEN YOU GIT ON IT, MMK? (Maybe after this semester ends i'll hold better discussions- stupid school. X,x)
-Kat, Barkeep, Hazel, Lucivar, Fruit'n'nutbar, whatever the fuck you know me as.
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| What matters most |
[10 Aug 2006|01:12am] |
So... i've been offline for... AWHILE.
And as creepy as it is my entire thoughtline has been "OMG... I want to get online. I wonder how everyone's doing."
Also, because i've been rotting, and doing damn near NOTHING. Save reformatting a harddrive to reinstall windows because it ruined itself and most of it's drivers, buying a new router and watching the news on the one channel we get to hear that over 150 people died in the heatwave I bitched about (wtf energy-using blackout-inducing assholes? Can't live without your damn airconditioners???)and that a pipeline in Alaska shut down and our area got nearly all its gas from there and reading a book on viruses and how people just kinda "SPLAT" when they die of a really leathal one, and going and seeing movies 'cause there's nothing else to do and getting scremed at for pointless shit more than usual because mom's in pain after her hesterectomy (like that gives you an excuse to yell at me for stockpiling dinner in the fridge since you aren't cooking, bitch. It was 2 days old, so what? I ate it.) and discovering that those couple days alone before she got back from the hospital were one of the best ones i've had in a very long time (if boring) TV is still worthless, and that not waking up until 4in the afternoon and going to bed at 6-7 is still nice, and that I can't find anyone's phonenumber and that l need to check my damn LJ.
But mostly that I miss everyone and that I really can't find myself going anywhere and dissapearing forever, even if I tried. Mental addiction and extremely long sentances with lots of ands for the win. <3
Shoo grammar whore. No one loves you. The simple fact that people can read this prooves you are unnecessary.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The
phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy,
it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and you awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!
Haha, you know you love it. Stuff spelling up your ass, teacher.
Java was interesting. I finished the class. I'm not a programmer. I like doing more upper-level computer work.
And there's someone I wanna talk to... that'll i'll probably miss if I sleep so... where's my damn pepsi, fool?? 'Cause I ain't sleepin' and you can't make me! xD
And... I really do like vulgar termology. I am innapropriate for small children when used without restraint. Some mental damage may result from prolonged exposure to me. This I realized when I went to a children's movie (Monster House. It was cool.) and the friend I went with burst out laughing because I "stopped sounding like myself". Socially unnaceptable, anyone?
OH! And the drug house 2 doors town with the pit fighting pitbulls is likely to get cleared out! W00ts!
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| *BOING* |
[10 Jul 2006|12:06am] |
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mood |
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 Usual Self |
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Did I mention wireless things suck? I have "Excellent Logitech" Mouse and wireless keyboard, and the damn things never connect right. Anyway... Pilfered from damn near everyone's LJ.
This one amuses me a bit. I wasn't planning anything, I swear!!
And...
I was a foul mouthed sailor! yay!
And... POTC either makes me want to nevar eat calamari again, or hold like the biggest fishfry evar. Take your pick ^_^
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| LATE... yeah. |
[07 Jul 2006|04:01am] |
ZOMG I GOT WISHEDED HAPPY BIRTHDAY SQUEEEEE~!! Love you guys.
((And i'm home. and HAPPY LATE BIRFDAI TO garnet21!)) [because I wasn't here on your birthday...]
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| Blarg. |
[10 Jun 2006|09:37pm] |
Yeah, I said I'd write a dialogue-style con report for fanime, but apparently mother shipped out the pictures because it was cheaper, so we're still waiting on those...
I DO have SOMETHING funny though, so lemme have some fun with it.
( Kat Humor )
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| ... Lurking. |
[21 May 2006|10:41pm] |
So... i've come to notice that I have been lurking. And that's a bad thing. mmhmm. Yup. Haven't posted since the one comment after acen, nope nope.
Random 1) It's May 21st and it's pouring rain. How very irritating. Oh well. I'll wish it was pouring come mid summer.
Random 2) I like this icon. Like... as much as the "WTF?". ((May have to view comments to see it)) They look like gossiping old ladies. HAH. If someone can think of something better for them(or him, whichever) to say that would fit in that spot, I'm all ears. I know it can't be too difficult... I had no inspiration but it had to have SOMETHING there. ((Please?))
Random 3) I want to try fishing. Eventually. When I can get to a body of water that doesn't have polluted, skimpy toxic fish.
Random 5) I wonder how many people actually know what a paradigm is...?
And that is all.
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| w000000tnessssss! |
[08 May 2006|04:01pm] |
*Cough* For the minor life wank, i'm kinda looking for a good home... SOON TO BE HOMELESS BARKEEP! *CHIBI EYES* COMES WITH FREE KR UPON SIGNING OF PAPERWORK!! And some anime shit. <3
((Must be in California for atleast a week to claim Barkeep.))
And... despite the completely comical nature of that, I will be out of this home soon, so bear with me.
Anywho, WELCOME HOME MY ACEN LOBVAHS!!! <33333 I got pictures from Sanzo, Hakkai and saw Envy's upload... *finger point* THE REST OF YOU PEOPLE SEND ME PICTURES OR FEAR MY STALKING WRATH!
Okay, so i'm going to stalk you all anyway... because I luvs joo! And welcome back!! UBER BLOMPS AND OFFENSE TO ALL!!
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| BLOND JOKES! |
[05 Apr 2006|06:58pm] |
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mood |
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 accomplished |
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Random pointless jokes: Installment #2. This time, I decided to go with blond jokes instead of lightbulb jokes. Some funny, some not. To me, still very amusing.
TheRanjaBarkeep: Hey... Kappa. Tell me a blond-joke.
---------Gojyo: i dun know if you heard it before
TheRanjaBarkeep: Oh well. if i have i have. If I haven't I havent.
---------Gojyo: lemme think
---------Gojyo: okay so
---------Gojyo: my dad has the best ones... *cackle*
---------Gojyo: There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The Brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore.
---------Gojyo: So she announced, "I'm gong to try to swim to shore." She swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.
---------Gojyo: The second one, the redhead, said to herself, "I wonder of she made it. I guess its better to try and get to the mainland than stay here and starve..." So she attempts to swim out.
---------Gojyo: The redhead had a lot more endurance than the brunette, as she swam about 10 miles before she even got tired. After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.
---------Gojyo: So the blonde thought to herself "I wonder if they made it! I think I'd better try to make it too." So she swam out 5 miles, 10 miles, 15 miles, NINETEEN miles from the insland.
---------Gojyo: The shore was just in sight, bit she said "I'm too tired to go on!"
---------Gojyo: So she swam back.
Moo ha ha. I'm going to say it here... before I say it later... MAKES ME FEEL PURDY GARSH DARN'D INTELLIGUNT- NEXT!
TheRanjaBarkeep: Clexyyyy... Do you have a dumb blond joke you can tell me?
---------Clex: um well prolly
---------Clex: .....hmmm
---------Clex: There was a Blond so dumb she tripped over a cordless phone
TheRanjaBarkeep: Was that blond you, by anychance clex? XB
---------Clex: LOL
---------Clex: no no
TheRanjaBarkeep: Hahah. I had to ask ^_^
---------Clex: There was a blond who came to work one day crying..her boss asks what is wrong? She replies her mother has died. The boss says go home, relax. She says NO she will feel better at work..later the boss comes back..she is crying harder yet..the boss comforts her..the blond tells her boss..my sister just called and her mother died too..!!..
TheRanjaBarkeep: Oh gosh.
---------Clex: XD
TheRanjaBarkeep: Blond Jokes make me feel intelligent.
---------Clex: they do
---------Clex: What do you call blonde twins doing bubble gum commercials?
TheRanjaBarkeep: dunno. What?
---------Clex: Double Dumb
TheRanjaBarkeep: Hah.
---------Clex: How can you tell which tricycle belongs to the blonde?
---------Clex: It's the one with the kickstand
TheRanjaBarkeep: You know... alot of dumb blond jokes.
---------Clex: lmao
---------Clex: (i'm copy pasting them off a site i found)
TheRanjaBarkeep: *SLAP*
---------Clex: *SLAPPED*
---------Clex: OUCH!
---------Clex: I"M TO DUMB TO KNOW JOKES ABOUT MYSELF!
TheRanjaBarkeep: *meant a self fore-head slap*
---------Clex: XD
TheRanjaBarkeep: *Does it again*
---------Clex: ya hear about the blonde who got fired from the M&M factory for throwing out all the Ws.
---------Clex: LMAO
TheRanjaBarkeep: Oh gawd. Clex... you know this is probably fated to the LJ posting, right?
---------Clex: okay i have to work on the website now...
---------Clex: LMAO
---------Clex: ya....
TheRanjaBarkeep: Heheh. Well get back to the site. ^_^ <3
---------Clex: <3
TheRanjaBarkeep: <-- Stupid
TheRanjaBarkeep: Clex... would you do me a favor?
---------Clex: hmm?
TheRanjaBarkeep: I got so busy laughin' and shit, i went to open a word document so slap the jokes onto that I closed the little window. Do you still hae it open, and can you save it and send it to me?
---------Clex: yeppers
---------Clex: So, did yo hear about the blond that closed the IM window wiithout saving?
TheRanjaBarkeep: YUP! I sure did.
... And we get two free, unintentional jokes slapped on the end. At the expense of blonds. Again.
TheRanjaBarkeep: Hello!
FMA-------:(Krystal) hey kat
TheRanjaBarkeep: Do you know any dumb blond jokes? And can you share one?
FMA-------:(Krystal) i only know redneck jokes
TheRanjaBarkeep: You don't know any blond ones?
TheRanjaBarkeep: Know one about a blond redneck? O.o
FMA-------:(Krystal) ummm i suppose she can be blond
TheRanjaBarkeep: Okay then. Tell me the joke
FMA-------:(Krystal) You might be a "blonde" redneck if you're bra size is higher then your SAT score.
TheRanjaBarkeep: Hahaha.
FMA-------:(Krystal) that takes skill
TheRanjaBarkeep: Not if you're blond ^.~
FMA-------:(Krystal) i mean youd have to get every single one wrong
FMA-------:(Krystal) and a redneck
FMA-------:(Krystal) those 2 together... oh man
FMA-------:(Krystal) *runs away from all blonde rednecks forever*
TheRanjaBarkeep: Ya know, i'm blond and likely to wind up living out in the middle of nowhere for atleast a little while, so I can't help but find that amusing.
FMA-------:(Krystal) lol
FMA-------:(Krystal) *runs away*
TheRanjaBarkeep: *dies*
.... Now... i'm not really all that scary, am I? >:E
PHOE-----: mewwww hi
TheRanjaBarkeep: Hey, hakkai do you know any dumb blond jokes?
PHOE-----: -ponders- why yes I do.
TheRanjaBarkeep: Would you be so very kind as to share some?
PHOE-----: hmm oki -thinks-
PHOE-----: A blonde went to a flight school insisting that she wanted to learn to fly. As all the planes were currently being used by other students the owner agreed to instruct her by via radio on piloting a solo helecopter. So he took her out to the tarmack, and taught her the basics. So like she went on her way . She radioed in that she was doing great and it was pretty. That she was getting the hang of it.
PHOE-----: After 2000 feet she radioed again how easy it was and what not. The instructor watched her climb up to 3000 feet and got worried cause she wasn't answering her radio. Suddenly he watched it decend rapidly and crash. He ran over and pulled her from the wreakage.
PHOE-----: Whe he asked what happened she was like I DONT KNOWWW everything was going fine but as I got higher I was starting to get very cold and I couldn't barely hear you so I turned off that big fan!!
PHOE-----: the end.
PHOE-----: XD
TheRanjaBarkeep: Heheh.
PHOE-----: hey you wanted one, its not the best cause i suck like that lmao
TheRanjaBarkeep: You made it up, again?
PHOE-----: i remembered my bro telling me this one a long time ago
PHOE-----: he's the jokester of the family
TheRanjaBarkeep: I was about to proclaim you my joke-god too >.>
PHOE-----: haha
TheRanjaBarkeep: But in all honesty, you don't suck ^_^
PHOE-----: aww thank youuu lobvesnog-
TheRanjaBarkeep: *SNOGGGG*
PHOE-----: hehehehee WOO score!
See? I'm not scary... really.
TheRanjaBarkeep: Hey. Droopy eyes.
----------Priest:(Sanzo) eh?
TheRanjaBarkeep: Tell me a dumb blond joke.
TheRanjaBarkeep: I know you know atleast one.
----------Priest:(Sanzo) ummm
----------Priest:(Sanzo) how do you know when a blonde's been using your computer?
TheRanjaBarkeep: How?
----------Priest:(Sanzo) there's white-out all over your monitor.
TheRanjaBarkeep: Heheh... it's something I can see my mother Almost doing.
Yeah, my mom's that bad with computers. Just a few hairs over that. And because we have the roll-on tape-type whiteout.
TheRanjaBarkeep: ENVYYY!
------Spaz7:(Envy) HIIIII
TheRanjaBarkeep: Can you tell me a dumb blond joke? *random*
------Spaz7:(Envy) um
TheRanjaBarkeep: *blinks* Did I say something?
------Spaz7:(Envy) i dunno any dumb blonde jokes
TheRanjaBarkeep: But there are so many O.o surely you know just one...
------Spaz7:(Envy) but
------Spaz7:(Envy) who've probably heard them all
------Spaz7:(Envy) you've*
TheRanjaBarkeep: Is that your only reason for not telling me? O.o
TheRanjaBarkeep: Tell me a joke man!
------Spaz7:(Envy) GAH!
------Spaz7:(Envy) does it have to be a blonde one?
TheRanjaBarkeep: Then improvise another joke and make it blond.
------Spaz7:(Envy) jesus christ
TheRanjaBarkeep: *Not leaving you alone*
------Spaz7:(Envy) lol
TheRanjaBarkeep: *Big chibi teary eyes* ;_; Joke? just onnnnneeee envvvyyyy-kuuuuuuuuuuunnn!
------Spaz7:(Envy) kdslsljf;sa
------Spaz7:(Envy) So there are these nuns and they are in a church and the priest has some holy water out and he says "now i want all of you to come up here and wash yourself where you have touched a penis to cleanse your sins."
------Spaz7:(Envy) so the first one goes up and washes her hands in the water.
------Spaz7:(Envy) the next one goes up and washes her ass in the water. the third one, who is blonde, says HEY, YOU MIND GETTING YOUR ASS OUT OF THERE, I HAVE TO GARGLE THAT NEXT!
TheRanjaBarkeep: .... *Dies*
------Spaz7:(Envy) there
------Spaz7:(Envy) a joke
TheRanjaBarkeep: *Dying laughing*
------Spaz7:(Envy) lol
TheRanjaBarkeep: Thank you. That'll be all ^-^
------Spaz7:(Envy) you are welcome
------Spaz7:(Envy) lol
I WILL get a joke out of you, should I decide to IM you for one. YUp. Uh-huh. Even if it takes me awhile.
TheRanjaBarkeep: *poke*
----------God(Chris): hey
TheRanjaBarkeep: What's up? And can you tell me a dumb blond joke?
----------God(Chris): nothing much, and sure
----------God(Chris): there was a blonde speeding on a highway and cut off this trucker
----------God(Chris): so he ran her down and forced her off the road
----------God(Chris): when he got out of his truck he drew a large circle on the ground, then he told the blonde to get out and stand in it
----------God(Chris): then he went over and put a deep scratch in her car, as he turned around he noticed the blond was laughing at him
----------God(Chris): so then the trucker broke in her windshield but the blonde was still laughing
----------God(Chris): the trucker was fed up with this and smashed up her whole car but when he looked back at the blonde she was still laughing
----------God(Chris): so finally the trucker marches over to the blonde and asks her 'why the hell are you laughing?! i just smashed up your car!'
----------God(Chris): to which the blonde replied 'when you werent looking i stepped out of the circle'
TheRanjaBarkeep: *Headdesk* Idiots.
----------God(Chris): thats my favorite one
TheRanjaBarkeep: It's funny.
TheRanjaBarkeep: And it makes me feel smart.
----------God(Chris): heh, cool
There really are people like that... not many, but they exist... very, very simpleminded.
TheRanjaBarkeep: OO... hello. Can I ask you for a favor, pammeh?
-------Pammy: sure
TheRanjaBarkeep: Tell me a dumb blond joke.
-------Pammy: hmmm
-------Pammy: *thinking*
-------Pammy: why did the blonde have tire marks on her back?
TheRanjaBarkeep: Why?
-------Pammy: because when the sign said "don't walk" she crawled
TheRanjaBarkeep: Heh. Makes me feel smart.
-------Pammy: lol i dont know many
TheRanjaBarkeep: One will do it. ^_^
I did that once. Save I ran instead of crawling. Yup. *nods*
TheRanjaBarkeep: PAPA!
Papa-------Sanzo: barkkeeep!!
TheRanjaBarkeep: ^_^\
Papa-------Sanzo: ^
Papa-------Sanzo: gah
Papa-------Sanzo: ^^
TheRanjaBarkeep: Okay. I come to ask for a favor.
TheRanjaBarkeep: *crickets* Papa?
Papa-------Sanzo: hai
Papa-------Sanzo: lol sorry havin trouble findin a Tenpou wig
Papa-------Sanzo: so im like @_@
TheRanjaBarkeep: Tell me a dumb blond joke.
Papa-------Sanzo: A dumb blonde joke,..
Papa-------Sanzo: trying to remember one
TheRanjaBarkeep: Take your time... you can even wait until the funkay crack high wears off if you need to.
Papa-------Sanzo: hmm okay its lmae but here goes
Papa-------Sanzo: This blonde walks into a hardware store and asks the guy at the cashier,"Can I buy that microwave?" He replies,"No im sorry we don't sell to blondes." So she goes home and dies her hair green.She goes back and asks" Can I buy that microwave?" "No im sorry we don't sell to blondes" So goes home and does the same thing with burnette, red, and blue. The last time she goes in she says "How do you always know who I am?" He replies "Because thats a T.V."
Papa-------Sanzo: lame*
Papa-------Sanzo: ^^
TheRanjaBarkeep: Hahah. Nice ^_^
Gotta love that. And I do suppose it WOULD be easier to just not sell than have to explain that that was actually a television.
TheRanjaBarkeep: OOOOO It's Mandee!
-------Mandy: YAH!!
TheRanjaBarkeep: Hey Mandee, tell me a dumb blond joke!
-------Mandy: oh gawd..I have THOUSANDS...hmmm
-------Mandy: How did the blond explain how his helicopter crashed?
TheRanjaBarkeep: how?
-------Mandy: He said it was getting cold, so he turned off the ceiling fan.
TheRanjaBarkeep: Heheh.
TheRanjaBarkeep: I heard a variation of that one earlier, methinks. Can you be the joke 2-for-1 deal again?
TheRanjaBarkeep: Pleeeeeeease?
-------Mandy: ok...lemme think of a good one
-------Mandy: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?
TheRanjaBarkeep: What?
-------Mandy: The blonde works in the dark!
TheRanjaBarkeep: Only sometimes.
TheRanjaBarkeep: Wait...
TheRanjaBarkeep: <-- Didn't just answer that
-------Mandy: LOL!!
Sometimes... when it's dark, instead of working, i'll sleep instead. >.>
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| Wow. |
[24 Mar 2006|11:10pm] |
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 worried |
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Wow. I'm actually updating my LJ 3 times a week for once... Or at least I think the last two were within a week... but yeah. Something like that... anyway...
*Toodles around and stares at the LJ I finally got into code-tweaking* It's so purdyful!! I love Nasa's website, (Nasa.gov) You can get the most awesome space pictures there. The LJ is set up for a 1024x768 or so desktop, but it's still beautiful. I tweaked the comments too heh... can't change it without paying my very-obnoxious hiney. *moons LJ*
And... My friend is over. She's running a very high temperature and i'm still technically sick myself... *Frets around in circles and plays Nurse!Kat while driving her off to bed with a nice drugging of Nyquil.* Save... I'm ALWAYS fucking sick so I get over it in a day or so whenever I get it, regardless of what it is for the most part. So... I could be less concerned about myself anyway... unless I break 101 or am too dizzy unable to stand, my life goes on as does my day.
She keeps waking up in a coughing fit... and bah i'm going to gave to lose my babysitting job in the morning 'cause you don't want a little kid around your sick guest... but gah I could use the money. And... as I re-apply for another year at my current school how often I am sick worries me. How the hell am I going to get into a nice college, or keep a job like this? Missing a day a week, or a day every two weeks is ridiculous and out of the question. Though i'm usually okay during the summer and i'll miss a bit less when the court and dental crap is over... it's still alot. I've missed 5 of the last 10 days and it makes me concerned about my future at THIS school, let alone a higher-end reputable one.
You can be as smart and as hardworking --- AND AS ABLE TO MANAGE WITHOUT THOSE DAYS --- as you like, and no one will want you around anyway.
If you're losing all the time when it matters doing something else that isn't avoidable it just plain sucks.
And, that was me worrying.
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| Heheheh... |
[22 Mar 2006|02:24pm] |
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mood |
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 Straight like a Slinky |
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Okay. Here's a survey I stole. It's the pwnagely long survey of d000mness, so I actually cut it. Because... it's that long.
For those of you that know what's up, I went to court. It went well. The super-expensive lawyer that my father had got his ass served by me. (( See picture for description ))The sentance went from 7-15 years to 15(min)-Life. I had fun playing poker and gin rummy with the social workers and shit during the breaks. I likes card games. Dad got his ass arrested on the spot, cuffed still wearing the suit after the preliminary, while he was supposed to have until the sentancing to be free. Bummer, you fat-fuck fucktard.
This was the lawyer. Lets not go into how bad Dad wound up.
(( Yes, I know I overuse this image, but I lobves it for some reason.))
( Teh long survey of doom-ness )
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| *Moosh* |
[20 Mar 2006|07:41pm] |
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mood |
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 >@#$?<%^&*! |
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IM-Saves about lightbulbs and Squirrel-Horror stories. Time for one about dentists. Nothing nasty, just what happens when dipshits get into dentistry.
Matter #1 (yes, that means there will be more at the bottom it you care to look) YAY!! I get to have the next stage of my teeth done soon!! But... getting there sucks ass, because I can't NOT have this particular dentist... and he knows it... so he scheduled me for an appointment with these two dipshit dental assistants from PREPPY HELL. And they BOTHERED me. (((( This turned out longer than I'd planned... skip to the next obvious section if you get too bored with it ^.~ ))))
They were new to his office. One (Dipshit 1/2) had worked on small children in dentistry apparently, which she bragged about...
I had to get impressions done of the top of my mouth for the implant spacing, and such. Impressions are basically when a dentist gets a plastic mouth-shaped thing, fills it with putty, jams it in your mouth, and waits for it to dry enough, then pull it out and has a mold of your teeth. I've had it done a bazillion times before, I didn't know why the hell they needed MORE impressions, but whatever. Sounds simple, Right? ... Fuck that. When is life EVER simple? To start, these impression trays were METAL. Which means cold, shaped less comfortably, and they taste like shit. So the impression goop is getting mixed. I'll call them disphit 1, and disphit 1/2. Dipshit 1/2 is mixing the stuff. "Dipshit 1: How much did you put in?" "Dipshit 1/2: four cups." [Or whatever measurement they used]"Dipshit 1: *watches her mix it* You make that look easy." So dipshit 1/2 takes the little flask, adds water like she's cooking and hums happily as she mixes as the office radio plays something obnoxious. Easy my ass. She didn't mix it right. It's supposed to have the consistency of putty- hers was like... sandy tapioca pudding. Dipshit 1/2 WAY OVERFILLS the little tray that's going to go in my mouth and I mentally say 'Just let this be over quickly...' I saw this all as it was coming in and Dipshit 1/2 was leaning closer... then she smiled at me like she would a little child and said "Open wide honey <3!!" So I groan mentally and make a note to flip her off on the way out of the office. She placed it over my teeth and pushed gently, trying to get the impression. Then the overfilled tray got to me. It SQUISHED. All over my mouth, and partially down my throat. I GAGGED and wheezed. "Dipshit 1/2: (who is taking the impression and has her fingers in my mouth ATM) Don't throw up, okay? The little kids used to throw up all the time because they were swallowing the cleaner, and the polishing--" I'm SWALLOWING the shit. I felt sorry for those little kids. The ONLY reason I DIDN'T throw up all over her is that I've had damn dentists in my mouth for so long. I sit there, gagging my ass off, unable to respond and I stare at the copy of Battle Royale, which is sitting on my lap. I wince mentally as a glob of impression shit that I cough out hits the cover. Dipshit 1/2 sighs and looks half-sad while smiling. "Dipshit 1/2: Oh, I'm sorry i'm torturing you" My face must have said "Fuck you" because she burst out laughing in her preppy voice. Like hell you're sorry. You're LAUGHING. And so is dipshit #1. FINALLY it's OVER and she pulls it out. Dipshit 1/2 smiles a big toothy grin. "See? Wasn't that easy! You were Sooooo good!!" I twitch mentally and wipe the blob of goop off of the book with a grumble. I only thought it was over. Dipshit #1 leans over dipshit 1/2 and looks at the mold. "Dipshit #1: It's not good. I think we have to take it again. There's not enough on the right side." Not Enough?!?!? FUCK!! MORE!! GIVE ME MORE, OH PRETTY PLEASE!! Dipshit 1 mixes the impression goop this time. She turns to her friend. "Dipshit 1: Am I doing it right?" Oh great. You ask her. Do I even WANT to look and see how you're doing? "Dipshit 1/2: *Looks* Umm... Yes, yes that's good." I am NOT reassured. Sure enough, it was even more sandy than the last. Think, wetsand instead of tapioca pudding. Dipshit 1/2 fills it up, sure enough adding more on the right side of the mold. I gag at the thought and pull a chunk of the first impression out of my mouth... better have room this time, Kat. Dipshit 1 has a great idea. "1: shouldn't we put the chair bach farther?" So they do. Until i'm almost flat on my back. It's NOT an operating table... But, they make it just as miserable as one. Then Dipshit 1/2 turns around and smiles. "Open big for me again, okay sweetie?" I eyetwitch slightly... and do so. Try #2. I want to get home, EAT and read my book. I have the tolerance for these dental-idiots, usually. The announcer for the radio comes on. He's loud. He says some crap about a free something... and then the song starts playing. It's "Tainted Love". Dipshit 1/2, who by now is in my mouth, as i'm gagging again, squeals and bounces slightly. "1/2: Do you know what that is??" Dipshit 1 looks baffled. "1/2: It's my favorite song!!" Then...she starts dancing, bouncing the thing around in my mouth and WAILING to the song in her annoying preppy voice. The gag wasn't just from the impression goop, which now falls into my mouth and gets eaten easier due to my positioning. She dances, and sways with her hand in my mouth. I swallow a bit of it, but whatever... i'll live, because it's almost done...
Note. Impressions take about 30 seconds. I could have sworn I was sitting there for a half hour. I was about ready to see how well my flimsy soft cover edition book did as a weapon. Finally... it comes out again. I snatch a papertowel, and empty my mouth of the impression goop. No comments of, "Oh we fail." Oh yay. I sit up and prepare to leave as 1/2 rants about how she did impressions in dental school and they went all over the place and she got so messy. Pros don't talk about dental school like it was yesterday... doesn't that figure. Whatever else she said went in one ear and out the other. Then her friend spoke. "Dipshit 1: OH! We needed the waxy-molds." "1/2: Oh yeah, doctor said we did!"
Then they did the Wax molds. Picture a flat little piece of wax it's got a very obvious colored marker to show which side is down. They stick it in VERY hot water, and then put it in your mouth, and you bite down. VERY VERY easy. I could do it myself, probably without my glasses on (or contacts in) if it wasn't for the very hot water part. Nope. For dipshit 1 and 1/2, this too was a challenge.
I'm going to cut it short, because you probably have a feel for their personalities by now. I'll even spare the part about them talking about the handsome construction workers that they could in the the building being built next door and how they could see into the bathroom of it, and they even washed their hands. Somehow, I doubt they were looking JUST to see if the workers washed their hands.
>>First mold. "1/2 Am I doing it right?" ... "1: No you put it in upside down" "1/2: *Preppy angst* Can I try again?" ... "1: *smiles* Uh huh."
>>Second mold.*1/2 Looks down* "OPEN WIDE!!!" I bite into it. "1/2 Is this good?" Half of the teeth on the left side were off of the impression. "1: No... it's crooked. Dr. Won't like that. Let me do it this time." I thought 1/2 was clueless...
>>Third mold. "1: So... how long are you supposed to heat it?" "1/2: Until it's just barely soft." I just wait. She tries again. It's too hard. My teeth don't go through, and it's obvious enough that even they don't have to argue about it."1/2: Oh darn. Looks like third time isn't the charm, honeybun." ... I am NOT your honeybun.
>> Fourth mold. I don't honestly REMEMBER what went wrong with this one. I don't even rmember which one tried it. Perhaps I partially blocked it all out out in the overwhelming feeling of annoyance that came with dealing with these people. The doctor was going to get my foot up his ass when he got back and I saw him next for using me as a testing dummy for such dipshits. I just remember 1 saying "Oh poopy. Let me go get a few more."
>> Fifth mold. This one gets heated. In my mouth. And it looks like it's going well. It comes out. 1 looks at it, then looks at 1/2. "1: You missed the very back teeth this time." Well bloody hell. Can I stop staring at your damn dental light now and get the wax molds done?
>> Sixth mold. "1/2 Fifth time is the ultimate charm!" I eyetwitched. 'This is the sixth.' I said. 1/2 frowned for a moment, the pulled out her beaming smile again. "1/2 then Sixth is the ultimate, ultimate charm!!" ... and ... the ultimate, ultimate charm worked. I didn't bother flipping them off on the way out, infact, I didn't even look at them. I was out in a flash. I ran. If they remembered something, they could contact me when someone with a brain was around to do it. Let my mother be useful for once and let her deal with the closing goodbyes and whatever. And so she did.
STUFF TO KNOW-- Ya know? For non dental comedy, my trial against my father continues on wednesday. If you don't know what that is, no worries. If you do, wish me luck. And because LJ STILL won't let me comment on anyones LJ, Lobve to those who read mine ^.~
And... to that one person who's having trouble, and maybe doesn't have the same skills everyone else has, or that a ""normal"" person is expected to have, you have talents and qualities that so many people don't have, and some of which I wish I had too. I know I can't do anything but be here and say I care. Which I do, almost unconditionally because i'm a softie like that. And I can't say it'll workout sometime soon, because miracles don't always just fall on you, but you fell on me and I'm going to pull out all my Hazel-stalking skills and haunt you online 'till the day my fingers fall off, I can't type with them anymore, my phone no longer works, and then, i'll find some way to type with my feet. I'm here and you can scream and yell if you wish, say whatever you damn well feel like, and i'll still be here because I refuse to be scared off. <3 (( Don't let the Hazel in me bug you, I only stalk you because I care ^.~ ))
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[10 Mar 2006|07:35pm] |
First order of business. Someone's name genator hit me dead on the spot, so I just had to post it. It's a pretty good generator, I recommend you try it, for shits and giggles.
My totally gay, Carlian nickname is Fantastic Bartender.
Take The "totally gay nickname Carl would give you" Name Generator today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.
Alrighty. Next order of business. I'm going to post a story. This came several years ago from a friend of mine. I don't know whether it is fact, partial fact, or complete bullshit. All I know, is that it is funny. You cam make up your mine about it after you read it. It's long, but funny.
I never dreamed slowly cruising through a residential neighborhood could be so incredibly dangerous! Studies have shown that motorcycling requires more decisions per second, and more sheer data processing than nearly any other common activity or sport. The reactions and accurate decision making abilities needed have been likened to the reactions of fighter pilots! The consequences of bad decisions or poor situational awareness are pretty much the same for both groups too.
Occasionally, as a rider I have caught myself starting to make bad or late decisions while riding. In flight training, my instructors called this being "behind the power curve". It is a mark of experience that when this begins to happen, the rider recognizes the situation, and more importantly, does something about it. A short break, a meal, or even a gas stop can set things right again as it gives the brain a chance to catch up.
Good, accurate, and timely decisions are essential when riding a motorcycle at least if you want to remain among the living. In short, the brain needs to keep up with the machine.
I had been banging around the roads of east Texas and as I headed back into Dallas, found myself in very heavy, high-speed traffic on the freeways.
Normally, this is not a problem, I commute in these conditions daily, but suddenly I was nearly run down by a car that decided it needed my lane more than I did. This is not normally a big deal either, as it happens around here often, but usually I can accurately predict which drivers are not paying attention and avoid them before we are even close. This one I missed seeing until it was nearly too late, and as I took evasive action I nearly broadsided another car that I was not even aware was there! Two bad decisions and insufficient situational awareness. All within seconds. I was behind the power curve. Time to get off the freeway. I hit the next exit, and as I was in an area I knew pretty well, headed through a few big residential neighborhoods as a new route home. As I turned onto the nearly empty streets I opened the visor on my full-face helmet to help get some air I figured some slow riding through the quiet surface streets would give me time to relax, think, and regain that "edge" so frequently required when riding. Little did I suspect.
As I passed an oncoming car, a brown furry missile shot out from under it and tumbled to a stop immediately in front of me. It was a squirrel, and must have been trying to run across the road when it encountered the car. I really was not going very fast, but there was no time to brake or avoid it-it was that close.
I hate to run over animals. And I really hate it on a motorcycle, but a squirrel should pose no danger to me. I barely had time to brace for the impact.
Animal lovers, never fear. Squirrels can take care of themselves!
Inches before impact, the squirrel flipped to his feet. He was standing on his hind legs and facing the oncoming Valkyrie with steadfast resolve in his little beady eyes. His mouth opened, and at the last possible second, he screamed and leaped! I am pretty sure the scream was squirrel for, "Banzai!" or maybe, "Die you gravy-sucking, heathen scum!" as the leap was spectacular and he flew over the windshield of my motorcycle and impacted me squarely in the chest.
Instantly he set upon me. If I did not know better I would have sworn he brought twenty of his little buddies along for the attack. Snarling, hissing, and tearing at my clothes, he was a frenzy of activity. As I was dressed only in a light t-shirt, summer riding gloves, and jeans this was a bit of a cause for concern. This furry little tornado was doing some damage!
Picture a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a t-shirt, and leather gloves puttering maybe 25mph down a quiet residential street. And in the fight of his life with a squirrel. And losing.
I grabbed for him with my left hand and managed to snag his tail. With all my strength I flung the evil rodent off the left of the bike, almost running into the right curb as I recoiled from the throw.
That should have done it. The matter should have ended right there. It really should have. The squirrel could have sailed into one of the pristinely kept yards and gone on about his business, and I could have headed home. No one would have been the wiser. But this was no ordinary squirrel. This was not even an ordinary pissed-off squirrel. This was an evil attack squirrel of death!
Somehow he caught my gloved finger with one of his little hands, and with the force of the throw swung around and with a resounding thump and an amazing impact he landed square on my back and resumed his rather anti-social and extremely distracting activities. He also managed to take my left glove with him!
The situation was not improved. Not improved at all. His attacks were continuing, and now I could not reach him. I was startled to say the least.
The combination of the force of the throw, only having one hand (the throttle hand) on the handlebars, and my jerking back unfortunately put a healthy twist through my right hand and into the throttle. A healthy twist on the throttle of a Valkyrie can only have one result. Torque. This is what the Valkyrie is made for, and she is very, very good at it. The engine roared as the front wheel left the pavement. The squirrel screamed in anger. The Valkyrie screamed in ecstasy. I screamed in...well...I just plain screamed.
Now picture a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans a slightly squirrel torn t-shirt, and only one leather glove roaring at maybe 70mph and rapidly accelerating down a quiet residential street on one wheel and with a demonic squirrel on his back. The man and the squirrel are both screaming bloody murder.
With the sudden acceleration I was forced to put my other hand back on the handlebars and try to get control of the bike. This was leaving the mutant squirrel to his own devices, but I really did not want to crash into somebody's tree, house, or parked car. Also, I had not yet figured out how to release the throttle as my brain was just simply overloaded. I did manage to mash the back brake, but it had little affect against the massive power of the big cruiser.
About this time the squirrel decided that I was not paying sufficient attention to this very serious battle (maybe he is a Scottish attack squirrel of death), and he came around my neck and got IN my full-face helmet with me. As the faceplate closed partway and he began hissing in my face I am quite sure my screaming changed tone and intensity. It seemed to have little affect on the squirrel however. The rpm's on The Dragon maxed out (I was not concerned about shifting at the moment) and her front end started to drop.
Now picture the large man on the huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a very ragged torn t-shirt, and wearing one leather glove, roaring at probably 80mph, still on one wheel, with a large puffy squirrel's tail sticking out his mostly closed full-face helmet. By now the screams are probably getting a little hoarse.
Finally I got the upper hand.I managed to grab his tail again, pulled him out of my helmet, and slung him to the left as hard as I could. This time it worked. Sort-of. Spectacularly sort-of, so to speak.
Picture the scene. You are a cop. You and your partner have pulled off on a quiet residential street and parked with your windows down to do some paperwork. Suddenly a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a torn t-shirt flapping in the breeze, and wearing one leather glove, moving at probably 80mph on one wheel, and screaming bloody murder roars by and with all his strength throws a live squirrel grenade directly into your police car.
I heard screams. They weren't mine...
I managed to get the big motorcycle under directional control and dropped the front wheel to the ground. I then used maximum braking and skidded to a stop in a cloud of tire smoke at the stop sign at a busy cross street.
I would have returned to fess up (and to get my glove back). I really would have. Really. But for two things. First, the cops did not seem interested or the slightest bit concerned about me at the moment. One of them was on his back in the front yard of the house they had been parked in front of and was rapidly crabbing backwards away from the patrol car. The other was standing in the street and was training a riot shotgun on the police cruiser.
So the cops were not interested in me. They often insist to "let the professionals handle it" anyway. That was one thing. The other? Well, I swear I could see the squirrel, standing in the back window of the patrol car among shredded and flying pieces of foam and upholstery, and shaking his little fist at me. I think he was shooting me the finger. That is one dangerous squirrel.
And now he has a patrol car.
I took a deep breath, turned on my turn-signal, made an easy right turn, and sedately left the neighborhood. As for my easy and slow drive home?
Screw it. Faced with a choice of 80mph cars and inattentive drivers, or the evil, demonic, attack squirrel of death...I'll take my chances with the freeway. Every time. And I'll buy myself a new pair of gloves.
-----
And thus, you learn the greatness of the squirrel. And wish to beat me over the head for once again, NOT cutting.
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| Lightbulb Jokes!!! |
[09 Mar 2006|06:54pm] |
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mood |
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Alrighty. So I was a on the AIM- and I decided to ask various people for... lightbulb jokes. For no particular reason, save that it's funny. Some original, some not. Most quite amusing.
TheRanjaBarkeep: Hmm. I'm trying to think of one of those "How many **** does it take to screw in a lightbulb?" jokes, but I can;t think of one.
---------Gojyo: O_o
---------Gojyo: How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
TheRanjaBarkeep: ..... One, if that woman is me... and your talking about a lightbulb in a lamp.
---------Gojyo: nope
---------Gojyo: Two
---------Gojyo: one to screw in the lightbulb and one to suck my dick
---------Gojyo: *smokes*
TheRanjaBarkeep: ... Kappa!
---------Gojyo: U.U
---------Gojyo: *lonely kappa*
TheRanjaBarkeep: You know i'm flexible enough for both!
TheRanjaBarkeep: Wait... I didn't say that <.<
---------Gojyo: >.>
TheRanjaBarkeep: ... Lightbulb jokes get different responses from everyone it seems.
And, of course the perverted one comes from the Kappa-sensei, as well as the idea.
TheRanjaBarkeep: Hmm. I'm trying to think of one of those "How many **** does it take to screw in a lightbulb?" jokes, but I can’t think of one.
PHOE-----: How many vikings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It's a trick question! Vikings don't change lightbulbs! When a lightbulb burns out, a Viking smashes the lamp on the ground, grabs his battle axe, and goes out to plunder a new lamp from his neighbor!
TheRanjaBarkeep: Heheh.
PHOE-----: i dunno rofl
And, Hakkai is new, original, and funny as hell.
TheRanjaBarkeep: Hmm. I'm trying to think of one of those "How many **** does it take to screw in a lightbulb?" jokes, but I can’t think of one.
Papa-------Sanzo: lol
TheRanjaBarkeep: Share one?
Papa-------Sanzo: lol i dont know any
TheRanjaBarkeep: Aww...
Papa-------Sanzo: lol
TheRanjaBarkeep: OH BE INSPIRED PAPA!!!
Papa-------Sanzo: lol
TheRanjaBarkeep: *Talks to Gojyo and links back to Papa* Papa was perhaps the funniest, just because she failed so miserably and set a new "Farting out LOL's" record. ---------Gojyo: LMAO *snort*
Papa-------Sanzo: lol
Papa-------Sanzo: i cant concentrate on the chat after awhile
Papa-------Sanzo: so many pretty shiny things
TheRanjaBarkeep: .....
I blame the funky crack.
TheRanjaBarkeep: Hmm. I'm trying to think of one of those "How many **** does it take to screw in a lightbulb?" jokes, but I can't think of one. Got one you wouldn't mind sharing?
----------God(Chris): how many dbz characters does it take?
TheRanjaBarkeep: How many?
----------God(Chris): just one but it takes three episodes
TheRanjaBarkeep: Lol!
----------God(Chris): heh, i think thats my best one
TheRanjaBarkeep: Hehe.
Maybe old, but still good.
TheRanjaBarkeep: Hmm. I'm trying to think of one of those "How many **** does it take to screw in a lightbulb?" jokes, but I can't think of one. Share one of yours?
FMA-------(Krystal): um how many crazy ppl....
FMA-------(Krystal): no no
FMA-------(Krystal): how many obssessed ppl
TheRanjaBarkeep: Yes...???
FMA-------(Krystal): oh
FMA-------(Krystal): i have to have an answer?
TheRanjaBarkeep: Yes.
TheRanjaBarkeep: ... hopefully.
FMA-------(Krystal): or how mand obsessive compulsive ppl does it take
FMA-------(Krystal): um 0 they too busy with something elsE?
FMA-------(Krystal): im bad at jokes
TheRanjaBarkeep: Hehe. It's all good. You win the failing at jokes but trying award ^_^
FMA-------(Krystal): lol
FMA-------(Krystal): yay
… If only I had a nickel for every time someone failed…
((This is a Non-ranger, don't try to recognise the name ^_^))
TheRanjaBarkeep: I'm trying to think of one of those "How many **** does it take to screw in a lightbulb?" jokes, but I can't think of one. Share one of yours?
Asuka-------: O.o.... i don't know any jokes...
Asuka-------: i am very plain...>.<
TheRanjaBarkeep: Oh bah.
Asuka-------: want to see the cutest thing in the world?
TheRanjaBarkeep: Sure.
Asuka-------: http://youtube.com/watch?v=K54uhB3v05E
Asuka-------: I WANT IT!!!!!!!!!!! *huggles it*
TheRanjaBarkeep: ....
Asuka-------: Not cute? O.o
TheRanjaBarkeep: Yes, cute.
Asuka-------: Yey…
Asuka-------: T,T i want one........
TheRanjaBarkeep: hehe.
Asuka-------: O.o....must have one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Asuka-------: it's like a dog that doesn't make a lot of noise...and bother you...>.<
TheRanjaBarkeep: Hehe... i'll keep the dog.
Asuka-------: >.<....bunny
… I don't think that's a joke... it's a BUNNY. And that's a guy there... a straight guy. That likes bunnies, apparently.
TheRanjaBarkeep: Hey Mandy, can you do me a favor?
-------Mandy: sure.....
TheRanjaBarkeep: Hmm. I'm trying to think of one of those "How many **** does it take to screw in a lightbulb?" jokes, but I can't think of one. Share one of yours ^_^?
-------Mandy: oh gosh....
-------Mandy: gimme a sec
-------Mandy: How many emo girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?
It takes 10.
One to actually screw in the bulb, one to write a song about it, and 8 to stand around and cry.
TheRanjaBarkeep: Hahaha.
TheRanjaBarkeep: ^_^
-------Mandy: i can't remember who told me that one
TheRanjaBarkeep: Hehe ^_^
-------Mandy: How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
-------Mandy: corny...
TheRanjaBarkeep: Hehe, yes.
TheRanjaBarkeep: But, still funny.
-------Mandy: hehe
-------Mandy: i heard others but I can't remember them
TheRanjaBarkeep: You were like a 2 for 1 deal on the lightbulb jokes.
-------Mandy: HAHAH
TheRanjaBarkeep: I got alot of random answers... you'd recognise all the people. I find it funny, personally. I might wind up saving it.
-------Mandy: O_o
-------Mandy: *tries to remember if she said naything embarrassing*
TheRanjaBarkeep: Heh... just... the jokes.
-------Mandy: lol
-------Mandy: whew
Well…….. I SAID just the jokes anyway… But the joke is the not-joke.
TheRanjaBarkeep: OOOOOO!!! SOMETHING YOU MUST DO!
---------Clex: okayyyyyyyy >.>
TheRanjaBarkeep: I'm trying to think of one of those "How many **** does it take to screw in a lightbulb?" jokes, but I can;t think of one. You MUST tell me one.
---------Clex: >.> uhhh
---------Clex: theres a rather risque one in BDS lol
TheRanjaBarkeep: ?? Huh?
---------Clex: yeah its in the deleted scenes
TheRanjaBarkeep: yeah?
---------Clex: connor: how many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb
murph: how many?
connor: one to actually screw in the bulb while the other F***in blows me...((or something to that effect))
---------Clex: then he gets kicked in the nuts
TheRanjaBarkeep: ... *DIES HORRIBLY* You would NOT believe how close that was to another I got, from someone who has NOT seen that movie.
---------Clex: REALLY?!
---------Clex: XD *laughs*
TheRanjaBarkeep: Really really.
---------Clex: hahaha
---------Clex: thats funny
... Or so you say <.< ... >.>
TheRanjaBarkeep: I'm trying to think of one of those "How many **** does it take to screw in a lightbulb?" jokes, but I can't think of one. Can you spare a moment and share one with me?
-------Pammy: I dont think I know any except for the blonde one
TheRanjaBarkeep: What blond one?
-------Pammy: oh I have one about sopranos
TheRanjaBarkeep: Oh? Do share.
-------Pammy: How many sopranos does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
TheRanjaBarkeep: How many?
-------Pammy: 2, one to stand on the chair to screw it in the other to kick the chair out from under her
-------Pammy: sopranos are known for being very competitive with eachother
TheRanjaBarkeep: Heh. Reminds me of someone I know...
-------Pammy: lol
-------Pammy: and I forgot how the blonde one goes
-------Pammy: oh yeah, how many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
TheRanjaBarkeep: One if it's me? :P
-------Pammy: one to hold the bulb, the other to hold the other one and turn her
-------Pammy: I think that's how it went
TheRanjaBarkeep: Heh. Nice.
*Shares Joke with Clexy*
TheRanjaBarkeep: <-- Blond
---------Clex: <---blond too
TheRanjaBarkeep: So uhh.... want to go screw in a lightbulb?
---------Clex: uh sure...i'll turn you
---------Clex: *was fixen to say "i'll screw you" but thought better of it*
TheRanjaBarkeep: Heh...
TheRanjaBarkeep: I'd laugh is you did.
TheRanjaBarkeep: And probably say something questionable.
---------Clex: lol
---------Clex: prolly
TheRanjaBarkeep: I was tempted to say "But I'd rather you were on top!" before you popped out with the "screw you" thing...
TheRanjaBarkeep: Hey... Sanzoooo... I'm trying to think of one of those "How many **** does it take to screw in a lightbulb?" jokes, but I can't think of one. Share one of yours ^_^?
----------Priest(Sanzo): hahaha
----------Priest(Sanzo): ummmm
----------Priest(Sanzo): how many kappas does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
TheRanjaBarkeep: ... How many?
----------Priest(Sanzo): just one, a kappa can screw in anything.
TheRanjaBarkeep: ROFL! Heheh... Nice ^_^
TheRanjaBarkeep: Quite possibly the best I've heard yet ^_^
TheRanjaBarkeep: You win at life ^_^ (for the time being)
----------Priest(Sanzo): he he he
SANZO WINS AT LIFE!!! ((For once... or was it twice?))
And that concludes the intallment of "Never tell he barkeeper a lightbulb joke." If you are in the odd percentage of the population that actually is interested in sharing lightbulb jokes... feel free to toss me an IM, mine's up there just waiting for you ^_^.
--Kat--
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| I rememberded! ... |
[21 Feb 2006|02:20am] |
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Wow, I remembered my LJ. I need to remember to finish off the code on the poor thing though. I'm probably going to rely on the form of coding for the forums I work on, some of the stuff in these makes me go "WTF?" and I really don't want to learn another web-page code... Whatever programmer decided to have so many versions needs to rot. Oh, I need to clean my fishtanks, and do some filter work on the BIG tank... I hate cleaning up several month old solidified fish shit out of the damn filter -_-. Fish crap is just fine, but the stuff gets worse, and it's EFFORT to clean it out. *Flails at it* Last time I did a filter, it was on the little tank and the thing 'sploded on me and covered me in 5 gallons of fish shit. I was not pleased. 5 gallons isn't that bad, the little tank is still... 50 gallons? Maybe 75? I forgot. The fish were okay, and so was the carpet. Just gave me a rather fishy flavor for a bit. The big one is... 250, or 300. Something like that, it's custom built. I <3 my fishies, but oh man cleaning the filters is evil. *HAPPY* When he gets a little bit larger, I can finally move my super-mild, gold severum out of the tetra tank so he stops trying to eat my cardinal tetras! Yay! I lobve that fish...
The pictures are cut... because it's stretching my page, and that's annoying. LOOK AT THE FISHES OR I EET JOO! <3333
( Please see the fish! )
*FISHFLAIL* And that is all.
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| I HAVE ONE |
[07 Feb 2006|09:57pm] |
Okay, yay. I finally have a livejournal. However, coding a stylesheet for this thing right now can go screw itself.
And, once again a day of way too much Saiyuki pwns my ass hard. I'm sittin' here and I can't even remember the HTML for a picture. (NOT the /img tags, I know that even so very thouroughly pwned.) *Rolls in the mush of brain* Well in anycase, I'm here, and today was a day. Tomarrow's going to be a hard day, but I'll have fun living in it.
Gah... It's like... *PWN ON YOUR PWN AND YOUR PWNS PWN*
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kat_darkwind's journal
WTF?