And, sometimes it is not the destination, but rather the journey that matters.

kat_darkwind@yahoo.com — Tue, 15 May 2007 01:40:27 GMT

Ahahaha. a. I must be the worst updater on the planet. Seriously.

I fall off the planet often enough but wow. I think this is a new top, even for me. It must have been forever. And a day. And I could make like 10 gazillionbazillion entries on life since I posted the last one.

Sooo... Ap Biology went well. I took the AP test this morning. Think every obscure answer you ever learned, stuffed into a HUGE test, with essays at the end.
And I couldn't remember what a nephron was, for question #42. (yes, seriously 42.)
Sooo.... I wrote about these guys... (Nechron) << http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Necrons>> in the margin. On the test booklet. It said something like this...
"The fuction of a Nechron is to be an evil being that's infinitely old and unkillable, determined to take over the known universe in service to the nightbringer." Ahahahaha, take that biology sissies!!
I think I passed. Ask me when I dont have to get up at 6 in the morning to be there to take the damn thing. o_O;;;

In CCOC (Central County Occupational Center) << What an f'ing mouthful.>> we finally finished the Rockets after forever and a day of calculating the center of gravity/pressure using the barrowman equations. I think mines actually really nice, I got to learn to use a wood lathe to make the nosecone. (One of these things. http://www.axminster.co.uk/images/products/JML1014_l.jpg)
So, we go all the way 2 hour drive to the middle of f'n nowhere to launch them, and the wind is like 30 miles per hour. These rockets are big. And they have big fins. One guy launces, his goes up about 100 feet and turns, flying the rest of its E sized engine off pointed directly into the wind. They pouted with the teacher (Who made some of the very first rockets that were using ridiculously strong engines over nevada) and wished they braught us all out somewhere we could use an engine stronger than E. They didnt let us launch the rest of them, too big, too windy, needs bigger engine, but beautiful. We all went home. I still have my rocket, gloriously unlaunched.

Yeah, so i'm in CCOC now. It's a class that's all hands on that starts during lunch and ends at 3:30. Its a real pain, school cancels it at the drop of a dime and I miss class... because it's not just our school that goes... but it's OK. It's supposed to be engineering technology, but most of the time no ones working anyway. ffs. People there are assholes. Some are assholes in a funny call you a dumbass like it is way, the rest are just plain asses.
LESSON: Sometimes the classes no one takes aren't so bad, even if they mean going out of your way.

I got a router and got the second computer up finally. It was supposedly an easy link router and I thought "OMG! CAN DO EASY WAY AND NOT CONFIGURE ANYTHING!" ... ... ... Wow. Just to let you know ahead of time, that was stupid. So, I install easy-link-advisor. It links one coumpter to the router, flawlessly. I go, wow that was easy. I click the button and it miraculously links a second without me even doing anything on that one!!! How easy!!!
<< The day after.>>
The computer that supposedly linked without doing anything decided to catastrophically memory dump every 5 minutes, due to absolutely nothing at all. It also randomly locked up and restarted. Also, whenever I ran the advisor on it in attempt to fix the computer, it said "router not connected, go to your network settings in the control panel and unblock thr router!!" It already was unblocked. This computer did not have internet, and also now memory dumped every five minutes.
The computer that actually had the program installed wasnt any better. It didn't memory dump. It didn't lock up. It just used 100% of its processing power on whatever it did. LIKE OPENING A FRIGGIN WINDOW OR TASKMANAGER! And didn't run anything at all properly.
I uninstalled everything, repaired windows using this command in the run option << sfc /scannow>> which has windows scan and fix itself (with the cd inserted)and did the router the old-fashioned way.
Lesson: Don't ever trust anything that says "easy" and stop being a lazyass.

OH! I HAFFS TEETHS NOW.
I finally got the implants i've supposedly been going to get forever are FINALLY in. Awesome. I can chew. And I still have a perma retainer between my two top teeth, I think the dentist forgot it. I completely win for defying that bastard when he wanted to put one in on the whole bottom row. *middle finger*
LESSON: The dentist is not to be trusted. And teeth are nice.

Uhmmm...
I like to throw ham at people.
However, one day I opened my lunch to find... a butter sandwich in it?? wtfwafflemeatcheeseplissandwich? So I threw it at Josh. Somehow it got pulled out of the container, and thrown at Josh's brother, and at John, then back to Josh's brother, and it somehow became unwrapped as well, and got stuffed down Josh's shirt that way. Butter-back anyone? It was hilarious. Or rather the look on his face was hilarious. For this, there is win.
LESSON: Butter can be fun.

Oh. I was talking with an ADHD hacker on withdrawals from his medicine. It was interesting, to say the VERY least. It went from completely coherent good technical ideas, like this..
anonymous: You mean like flash the bios with a version that has tampered power management settings so it overheats and burns out
To him dissapearing for about 10 minutes and this.
anonymous: LOL!
anonymous: somehow
anonymous: i went downstairs with a trash can
anonymous: and wound up sitting on a heat vent
anonymous: mmmm heating vents
Later, after calling my computer "compychan" for about 10 minutes...:
anonymous: i fucking said compychan
anonymous: do i get a cookie?/
If I hadn't talked to him before when he was coherent it wouldn't be so... off. But an ADHD hacker, who, after talking with me for about a half hour (without the breaks of him running off doing... something...) he goes something like...
"Wait. You wanted me to help do something? Im completely worthless unmedicated."
Entertaining, none the less.
LESSON: Do not expose to Adderall. << http://www.reference.com/search?r=13&q=Adderall>>

OH, BTW, Ventrilo is completely awesome. (this is vent. << http://www.reference.com/search?q=Ventrilo>>)It's like MSN voice chat, without all the bubbles you'll have to click and the eminent lag with certain people not being able to do it. You can download it here. (www.ventrilo.com) There are servers all over, some are hosted by weenies, but overall it's not bad. You can meet alot of interesting people there, and mute them if you don't want to hear them jabber about how emo they are >=D
LESSON: Alternate solutions, and a mute option for a person, are god.

There is, of course, always more that will not get posted. But that's alot of stuff.

LESSON THAT NEEDS NO STORY: Barkeeper is hyperactive and bounces around, but never really forgets anyone ^_^

I hope you all had TONS of fun at ACEN, and i'll be looking forward to reading your con-reports.

That is all.

AXE.

kat_darkwind@yahoo.com — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 07:46:44 GMT

ASHJGUGVSYGDVHGDV!!!

Lesson #1) Be mindful of when you dryclean your coat. Doing this on a day it rains is bad.
Lesson #2) If you dryclean your coat, make sure your dog has not peed on your other coat.

LIFE LESSON: NEVER EVER BORROW A SWEATSHIRT COVERED IN AXE.

The smell is so distracting... but the sweatshirt is warm and fuzzy too~~ WHEEE!!!! *Runs around in circles and juggles the chemicals in Bio*

And the waterheater's side went out and plastered the garage in boiling water... nothing was lost, but a few cabinets got their bottoms wet, a couple boxes died, a few things melted and it was a big mess. I woke up way too early that morning =_=... to the screams of loud profanity and calls for buckets, which atleast was entertaining. A good spazfest that isn't directed at you is refreshing, harhar.

House of Leaves is the weirdest book ever. And it owns much ass.

KLJBUYVSDUGBFJHBAYUGBFOAWNVYGACJIIOJNIEUGUAYDVFIJH axe.

That is all.

kat_darkwind@yahoo.com — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 06:25:04 GMT

I.don't.post.enough.

As always, things come and go, and that damn river of time still smells like a sewer, so it's no wonder i'm trying to swim upstream.

They finally had court. I was there, interrogated for hours. The result was guilty on all counts. The charge is 56 years to life, and while they wont deliver the sentance for awhile, the result is the same. I'd say I want to be happy, and celebrate, but in reality all I can do is be glad it's finally over. It was only bullshit to begin with.

I hardly log on AIM anymore, anyone who wants to reach me has to do it through MSN these days. I'm having issues with loosing sight of my goal again, whatever it really was to begin with. I don't want a really high-end fancy corporate job, to get paid a bazillion dollars, or live in a beauuutiful house. I know that I'll need a highschool degree to get WHEREVER I go, so I know I need to finish that. What am I aiming for?
I just want to live sofar, heh. I'll think about it later.

On a side note, some people are stupider than you always thought they were, and others are surprisingly smarter.

I'm always on MSN now, MESSAGE ME SOMETIME WHEN YOU GIT ON IT, MMK? (Maybe after this semester ends i'll hold better discussions- stupid school. X,x)

-Kat, Barkeep, Hazel, Lucivar, Fruit'n'nutbar, whatever the fuck you know me as.

What matters most

kat_darkwind@yahoo.com — Thu, 10 Aug 2006 09:17:57 GMT

So... i've been offline for... AWHILE.

And as creepy as it is my entire thoughtline has been "OMG... I want to get online. I wonder how everyone's doing."
Also, because i've been rotting, and doing damn near NOTHING. Save reformatting a harddrive to reinstall windows because it ruined itself and most of it's drivers, buying a new router and watching the news on the one channel we get to hear that over 150 people died in the heatwave I bitched about (wtf energy-using blackout-inducing assholes? Can't live without your damn airconditioners???)and that a pipeline in Alaska shut down and our area got nearly all its gas from there and reading a book on viruses and how people just kinda "SPLAT" when they die of a really leathal one, and going and seeing movies 'cause there's nothing else to do and getting scremed at for pointless shit more than usual because mom's in pain after her hesterectomy (like that gives you an excuse to yell at me for stockpiling dinner in the fridge since you aren't cooking, bitch. It was 2 days old, so what? I ate it.) and discovering that those couple days alone before she got back from the hospital were one of the best ones i've had in a very long time (if boring) TV is still worthless, and that not waking up until 4in the afternoon and going to bed at 6-7 is still nice, and that I can't find anyone's phonenumber and that l need to check my damn LJ.

But mostly that I miss everyone and that I really can't find myself going anywhere and dissapearing forever, even if I tried. Mental addiction and extremely long sentances with lots of ands for the win. <3
Shoo grammar whore. No one loves you. The simple fact that people can read this prooves you are unnecessary.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The
phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy,
it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and you awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

Haha, you know you love it. Stuff spelling up your ass, teacher.

Java was interesting. I finished the class. I'm not a programmer. I like doing more upper-level computer work.

And there's someone I wanna talk to... that'll i'll probably miss if I sleep so... where's my damn pepsi, fool?? 'Cause I ain't sleepin' and you can't make me! xD

And... I really do like vulgar termology. I am innapropriate for small children when used without restraint. Some mental damage may result from prolonged exposure to me. This I realized when I went to a children's movie (Monster House. It was cool.) and the friend I went with burst out laughing because I "stopped sounding like myself". Socially unnaceptable, anyone?

OH! And the drug house 2 doors town with the pit fighting pitbulls is likely to get cleared out! W00ts!

kat_darkwind@yahoo.com — Tue, 18 Jul 2006 12:06:42 GMT

Jacked from... Clex was it? I think this answer is actually pretty damn close.

You scored as Mary Read. You are very unconventional, you defy the rules as often as you can and like to take as many risks as possible. You will probably end up living happily under a bridge somewhere laughing at all the unsavory deeds you once instigated.

</td>

Mary Read

92%

Captain Jack Sparrow

83%

Sinbad

58%

Will Turner

50%

Black Beard

50%

Long John Silvers

50%

Captain Barbosa

42%

Dread Pirate Roberts

25%

Captain James T. Hook

25%

Morgan Adams

What kind of Pirate are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

Yeah. I would be happy living under bridge laughing at asshats and all the trouble I caused. That's very fun. Not as fun as actually causing it though. But preferably away from a big city in a country bridge in the middle of a forest...

Did i mention NEVER GET A FUCKING WIRELESS MOUSE/KEYBOARD?

I love moving them, but nuh-uh. Not for any amount of money would I EVER take another. If the computer COULD run without them (the ports on the back are nigh destroyed from a mother spazz, so I have a usb port in front with a mic and headphone port that work) Their drivers don't work, it makes the system unstable because of this, I get crash messages for the drivers about 3x daily, and the mouse and keyboard will lag horribly when they do work and take long binges of complete non-working. I like to rip out the wireless hub and hide it to leave the comp locked down, but now that they keyboard and mouse WONT RE-SYNC without a miracle that's out of the question.

Did I mention wireless sucks?

ANYWAY... California sucks too!

Ca is hot. Not the HOTTEST state, but it gets hot. My computer room is in the middle of the house, ventilation sucks, and it has a comp running in the middle of it. It gets VERY hot. It's California. We have energy crisis. They say it's over, but that's bullshit. If we don't have blackouts every year in this house I'll sell my ass and marry a rich guy that will use me as a pretty doll for formal banquets. And that's a hell of a something. Apparently we are breaking records for energy consumption this year. Oh joy. I REALLY hate it when we get a blackout. It's a pain in the ass, and I have just enough time to find a candle, light it and almost light the house before they turn it back on, then once I feel lit and blow them all out that second it goes off again.

If your name (nickname, whatever) isn't Shizzy, the next paragraph doesn't concern you.

Right. Welcome back from WTF-why-did-my-vacation-suck-so-bad-Europe Shizzy.
I read your reports... interesting. I have 2 of your plethora of postcards. And god help your mother if she ever beats you around me. I don't spare my OWN mother. And for a certain entry in the middle, since you dislike internet chatter, CALL ME. And if it be ""morning""... i'll wake up. Which is also a real something. Also, Good god woman, use LJ cuts on those huge assed reports. I was looking for a certain entry afterward that wasn't yours after and it was hell to find.

Right. Did I mention someone's annoying?

Met a Goku at the con who's neat, whatever he'll come over for awhile. >BAM!< Boyfriend lecture. -_- Fuck you mother. Really. FUCK YOU. I have no romantic interest with this person. I have made this clear. I Have no interest in having interest with this person. Do I want to bring him home to go on a secretive trist?? Fuck no -_- I'd say something disturbing about who I'd screw first but uhh... yeah. Disturbing. Probably go in the same direction as the last time I used that as a comeback (likely you haven't forgotten that) ;;;;;;;;;>.> But really now. That kind of thing pisses me off to no end. And the fact that she told everyone and their brother pisses me off more. MORE THAN MORE. Very temping to run off and bum a snog off someone female I know, partially just to be an ass. <.<

Ahh well. I WONT be here forever.

I need to re-poster my office.

It need a paintjob, but I honestly don't see it happeneing this year. I LIKE the office I have now, but I got some super nice posters at AX I want to hang.
Notably about AX... I have almost no pictures of rangers. Actually, scratch that. I don't think I have a one besides myself. I missed the ranger meetup 'cause I was eating (asdfghgfdfdss was that good cake) and no one told me the time though I got a call in the middle of. (I admit I didn't look before I went to the con, AX was spur of the moment.)

And I like my "somewhat new" dog. Who has been named Fern. 5 reasons.
1) I had inspiration difficulty.
2) I was reading a really awesome web"comic" at the time that involved a Fern.
3) I like those plants.
4) My chemistry teacher, who kicked ass, was "Fernie", but I do not permit this name on my dog.
5) The alternative was "taco". Screw that.

As for the webcomic... I really DON'T like webcomics. I have a friend thtat follows about 20+. Makes me tweak everytime I hear it. However... this one is an exception to my general dislike of webcomics. The art for the first part isn't excellent, but it gets better. The plot makes your head spin the first time through, but at the end you go "Damn. That's good." Another... it ISN'T made to be funny. It's serious for the vast majority, and is good at it. If you aren't homophobic to the point of explosion, (it doesn't do explicit. At ALL.) Read a chapter or so of it if you read more, yay.
http://www.grayling.arborwin.com/
For that one of you who is currently internet banned and will be catching up on these 20+ webcomics... add this one.

And umm....? If there's more I forgot it. Yeah. Wow. Someone read all that? Damnit someone else besides me needs to be up late tonight.

BOING

kat_darkwind@yahoo.com — Mon, 10 Jul 2006 07:19:27 GMT

Did I mention wireless things suck? I have "Excellent Logitech" Mouse and wireless keyboard, and the damn things never connect right. Anyway... Pilfered from damn near everyone's LJ.

This one amuses me a bit. I wasn't planning anything, I swear!!

<td align="center"> Barkeep --
[noun]:

A person of questionable sanity who starts their own cult

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com</td>

And...

Kat's Past Lives

56 BC: Warrior

1091 AD: A foul mouthed sailor

1927 AD: Royalty

'What were you in your past lives?' at QuizGalaxy.com

I was a foul mouthed sailor! yay!

And... POTC either makes me want to nevar eat calamari again, or hold like the biggest fishfry evar. Take your pick ^_^

LATE... yeah.

kat_darkwind@yahoo.com — Fri, 07 Jul 2006 11:04:30 GMT

ZOMG I GOT WISHEDED HAPPY BIRTHDAY SQUEEEEE~!! Love you guys.
((And i'm home. and HAPPY LATE BIRFDAI TO garnet21!)) [because I wasn't here on your birthday...]

Blarg.

kat_darkwind@yahoo.com — Sun, 11 Jun 2006 05:02:24 GMT

Yeah, I said I'd write a dialogue-style con report for fanime, but apparently mother shipped out the pictures because it was cheaper, so we're still waiting on those...

I DO have SOMETHING funny though, so lemme have some fun with it.

A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.

Four worms were placed into four separate jars.

The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.

The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.

The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.

The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.

At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:

The first worm in alcohol - Dead.

The second worm in cigarette smoke - Dead.

Third worm in chocolate syrup - Dead.

Fourth worm in good clean soil - Alive.

So the Minister asked the congregation - What can you learn from this demonstration?

A little old woman in the back quickly raised her hand and said,
"As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!"

I think i'll make a rather nasty old lady. Nasty... in the slightly mean and still socially unacceptable sense ^_^

... Lurking.

kat_darkwind@yahoo.com — Mon, 22 May 2006 05:50:04 GMT

So... i've come to notice that I have been lurking. And that's a bad thing. mmhmm. Yup. Haven't posted since the one comment after acen, nope nope.

Random 1) It's May 21st and it's pouring rain. How very irritating. Oh well. I'll wish it was pouring come mid summer.

Random 2) I like this icon. Like... as much as the "WTF?". ((May have to view comments to see it)) They look like gossiping old ladies. HAH. If someone can think of something better for them(or him, whichever) to say that would fit in that spot, I'm all ears. I know it can't be too difficult... I had no inspiration but it had to have SOMETHING there. ((Please?))

Random 3) I want to try fishing. Eventually. When I can get to a body of water that doesn't have polluted, skimpy toxic fish.

Random 5) I wonder how many people actually know what a paradigm is...?

And that is all.

w000000tnessssss!

kat_darkwind@yahoo.com — Mon, 08 May 2006 23:32:14 GMT

*Cough* For the minor life wank, i'm kinda looking for a good home... SOON TO BE HOMELESS BARKEEP! *CHIBI EYES* COMES WITH FREE KR UPON SIGNING OF PAPERWORK!! And some anime shit. <3
((Must be in California for atleast a week to claim Barkeep.))
And... despite the completely comical nature of that, I will be out of this home soon, so bear with me.

Anywho, WELCOME HOME MY ACEN LOBVAHS!!! <33333 I got pictures from Sanzo, Hakkai and saw Envy's upload... *finger point* THE REST OF YOU PEOPLE SEND ME PICTURES OR FEAR MY STALKING WRATH!

Okay, so i'm going to stalk you all anyway... because I luvs joo! And welcome back!! UBER BLOMPS AND OFFENSE TO ALL!!

WTF?

kat_darkwind@yahoo.com — Fri, 28 Apr 2006 23:53:33 GMT

fuck.Fuck.FUCK.FUCK.FUCK!!!!!!

WHAT THE FUCK, BITCH?!?!?!

So... aside from the fact that money here is super tight, it's getting hard and i'm worring about the food on my plate, now the supposed roommate mother is going to get (which I guarantee will be her friend that I will FUCKING HATE AND CONSIDER HOMICIDE OVER) is either going to get my room, where I sleep for 5-8 hours a day (which will displace me into my office), or IN my office, where I LIVE for the other 15 hours of my awakened day. Or, a combination of "changing" both, as explained below.

This, would be fine.

I could understand either. Save for 5 things.

1) I have offered to sleep on the couch, and put my bed into storage, and put my non-furniture stuff into the closet in my office, to give up my room. No, not permissable. I MUST keep my dresser and bed and I MUST move it into my computer room. WHAT THE FUCK?

2)The office has an open side, with broken shutters. So they would need to be reapired for anyone to consider living there.

3) She has HIRED A FUCKING COMPANY TO MOVE MY COMPUTERS FOR ME AND DESTROY MY OFFICE. They will NOT touch my shit. I will stay home from school all day, borrow my friends handgun collection, and play old man and threaten the fuckers at gunpoint if they so much as CONSIDER TOUCHING my electronics. I bet 75$ that if I was to let them in here, they would fuck up as soon as they went to unwire the fishtank to get to the wires there, and explode water all over the place.

4) SHE has decided where my computers will go. Which is, RIGHT UNDER HER FUCKING NOSE BY THE KITCHEN. I get on the computer to get away from the mean ass fucking hag, and she wants to put the computer RIGHT BY HER?? No fucking way. Even if you give your fucking roommate the office, then I will move them into MY bedroom. If you move your roommate into my bedroom, and even PUT a bed and my dresser into this office, Then I WILL KEEP MY COMPUTERS HERE.

5) THERE IS A FRONT ROOM NEITHER OF US SPEND MORE THAN 10 MINUTES A DAY IN, waiting for a roommate to move in. It is bigger, no one would be displaced and the stuff could easily go in the garage, wingeddy-do no problem.

This, my good friends, is once again getting ugly. Apparently my opinion doesn't matter, and using an empty front room is TOO practical, so I'll be mass-moving my office soon, without the approval or permission of "queen bitch" - abandoning it and moving into my bedroom, because once it's done that will decide what room stays mine, and what doesn't, as well as deciding where my computer goes, or is atleast a start of deciding such. I will not sit down and let this fucking bitch I live with dictate this so that she can get another fucking bitch into the house.

And that is all for today's rant of "WTF?"

BLOND JOKES!

kat_darkwind@yahoo.com — Thu, 06 Apr 2006 02:27:02 GMT

Random pointless jokes: Installment #2. This time, I decided to go with blond jokes instead of lightbulb jokes. Some funny, some not. To me, still very amusing.

TheRanjaBarkeep: Hey... Kappa. Tell me a blond-joke.
---------Gojyo: i dun know if you heard it before
TheRanjaBarkeep: Oh well. if i have i have. If I haven't I havent.
---------Gojyo: lemme think
---------Gojyo: okay so
---------Gojyo: my dad has the best ones... *cackle*
---------Gojyo: There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The Brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore.
---------Gojyo: So she announced, "I'm gong to try to swim to shore." She swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.
---------Gojyo: The second one, the redhead, said to herself, "I wonder of she made it. I guess its better to try and get to the mainland than stay here and starve..." So she attempts to swim out.
---------Gojyo: The redhead had a lot more endurance than the brunette, as she swam about 10 miles before she even got tired. After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.
---------Gojyo: So the blonde thought to herself "I wonder if they made it! I think I'd better try to make it too." So she swam out 5 miles, 10 miles, 15 miles, NINETEEN miles from the insland.
---------Gojyo: The shore was just in sight, bit she said "I'm too tired to go on!"
---------Gojyo: So she swam back.

Moo ha ha. I'm going to say it here... before I say it later... MAKES ME FEEL PURDY GARSH DARN'D INTELLIGUNT- NEXT!

TheRanjaBarkeep: Clexyyyy... Do you have a dumb blond joke you can tell me?
---------Clex: um well prolly
---------Clex: .....hmmm
---------Clex: There was a Blond so dumb she tripped over a cordless phone
TheRanjaBarkeep: Was that blond you, by anychance clex? XB
---------Clex: LOL
---------Clex: no no
TheRanjaBarkeep: Hahah. I had to ask ^_^
---------Clex: There was a blond who came to work one day crying..her boss asks what is wrong? She replies her mother has died. The boss says go home, relax. She says NO she will feel better at work..later the boss comes back..she is crying harder yet..the boss comforts her..the blond tells her boss..my sister just called and her mother died too..!!..
TheRanjaBarkeep: Oh gosh.
---------Clex: XD
TheRanjaBarkeep: Blond Jokes make me feel intelligent.
---------Clex: they do
---------Clex: What do you call blonde twins doing bubble gum commercials?
TheRanjaBarkeep: dunno. What?
---------Clex: Double Dumb
TheRanjaBarkeep: Hah.
---------Clex: How can you tell which tricycle belongs to the blonde?
---------Clex: It's the one with the kickstand
TheRanjaBarkeep: You know... alot of dumb blond jokes.
---------Clex: lmao
---------Clex: (i'm copy pasting them off a site i found)
TheRanjaBarkeep: *SLAP*
---------Clex: *SLAPPED*
---------Clex: OUCH!
---------Clex: I"M TO DUMB TO KNOW JOKES ABOUT MYSELF!
TheRanjaBarkeep: *meant a self fore-head slap*
---------Clex: XD
TheRanjaBarkeep: *Does it again*
---------Clex: ya hear about the blonde who got fired from the M&M factory for throwing out all the Ws.
---------Clex: LMAO
TheRanjaBarkeep: Oh gawd. Clex... you know this is probably fated to the LJ posting, right?
---------Clex: okay i have to work on the website now...
---------Clex: LMAO
---------Clex: ya....
TheRanjaBarkeep: Heheh. Well get back to the site. ^_^ <3
---------Clex: <3
TheRanjaBarkeep: <-- Stupid
TheRanjaBarkeep: Clex... would you do me a favor?
---------Clex: hmm?
TheRanjaBarkeep: I got so busy laughin' and shit, i went to open a word document so slap the jokes onto that I closed the little window. Do you still hae it open, and can you save it and send it to me?
---------Clex: yeppers
---------Clex: So, did yo hear about the blond that closed the IM window wiithout saving?
TheRanjaBarkeep: YUP! I sure did.

... And we get two free, unintentional jokes slapped on the end. At the expense of blonds. Again.

TheRanjaBarkeep: Hello!
FMA-------:(Krystal) hey kat
TheRanjaBarkeep: Do you know any dumb blond jokes? And can you share one?
FMA-------:(Krystal) i only know redneck jokes
TheRanjaBarkeep: You don't know any blond ones?
TheRanjaBarkeep: Know one about a blond redneck? O.o
FMA-------:(Krystal) ummm i suppose she can be blond
TheRanjaBarkeep: Okay then. Tell me the joke
FMA-------:(Krystal) You might be a "blonde" redneck if you're bra size is higher then your SAT score.
TheRanjaBarkeep: Hahaha.
FMA-------:(Krystal) that takes skill
TheRanjaBarkeep: Not if you're blond ^.~
FMA-------:(Krystal) i mean youd have to get every single one wrong
FMA-------:(Krystal) and a redneck
FMA-------:(Krystal) those 2 together... oh man
FMA-------:(Krystal) *runs away from all blonde rednecks forever*
TheRanjaBarkeep: Ya know, i'm blond and likely to wind up living out in the middle of nowhere for atleast a little while, so I can't help but find that amusing.
FMA-------:(Krystal) lol
FMA-------:(Krystal) *runs away*
TheRanjaBarkeep: *dies*

.... Now... i'm not really all that scary, am I? >:E

PHOE-----: mewwww hi
TheRanjaBarkeep: Hey, hakkai do you know any dumb blond jokes?
PHOE-----: -ponders- why yes I do.
TheRanjaBarkeep: Would you be so very kind as to share some?
PHOE-----: hmm oki -thinks-
PHOE-----: A blonde went to a flight school insisting that she wanted to learn to fly. As all the planes were currently being used by other students the owner agreed to instruct her by via radio on piloting a solo helecopter. So he took her out to the tarmack, and taught her the basics. So like she went on her way . She radioed in that she was doing great and it was pretty. That she was getting the hang of it.
PHOE-----: After 2000 feet she radioed again how easy it was and what not. The instructor watched her climb up to 3000 feet and got worried cause she wasn't answering her radio. Suddenly he watched it decend rapidly and crash. He ran over and pulled her from the wreakage.
PHOE-----: Whe he asked what happened she was like I DONT KNOWWW everything was going fine but as I got higher I was starting to get very cold and I couldn't barely hear you so I turned off that big fan!!
PHOE-----: the end.
PHOE-----: XD
TheRanjaBarkeep: Heheh.
PHOE-----: hey you wanted one, its not the best cause i suck like that lmao
TheRanjaBarkeep: You made it up, again?
PHOE-----: i remembered my bro telling me this one a long time ago
PHOE-----: he's the jokester of the family
TheRanjaBarkeep: I was about to proclaim you my joke-god too >.>
PHOE-----: haha
TheRanjaBarkeep: But in all honesty, you don't suck ^_^
PHOE-----: aww thank youuu lobvesnog-
TheRanjaBarkeep: *SNOGGGG*
PHOE-----: hehehehee WOO score!

See? I'm not scary... really.

TheRanjaBarkeep: Hey. Droopy eyes.
----------Priest:(Sanzo) eh?
TheRanjaBarkeep: Tell me a dumb blond joke.
TheRanjaBarkeep: I know you know atleast one.
----------Priest:(Sanzo) ummm
----------Priest:(Sanzo) how do you know when a blonde's been using your computer?
TheRanjaBarkeep: How?
----------Priest:(Sanzo) there's white-out all over your monitor.
TheRanjaBarkeep: Heheh... it's something I can see my mother Almost doing.

Yeah, my mom's that bad with computers. Just a few hairs over that. And because we have the roll-on tape-type whiteout.

TheRanjaBarkeep: ENVYYY!
------Spaz7:(Envy) HIIIII
TheRanjaBarkeep: Can you tell me a dumb blond joke? *random*
------Spaz7:(Envy) um
TheRanjaBarkeep: *blinks* Did I say something?
------Spaz7:(Envy) i dunno any dumb blonde jokes
TheRanjaBarkeep: But there are so many O.o surely you know just one...
------Spaz7:(Envy) but
------Spaz7:(Envy) who've probably heard them all
------Spaz7:(Envy) you've*
TheRanjaBarkeep: Is that your only reason for not telling me? O.o
TheRanjaBarkeep: Tell me a joke man!
------Spaz7:(Envy) GAH!
------Spaz7:(Envy) does it have to be a blonde one?
TheRanjaBarkeep: Then improvise another joke and make it blond.
------Spaz7:(Envy) jesus christ
TheRanjaBarkeep: *Not leaving you alone*
------Spaz7:(Envy) lol
TheRanjaBarkeep: *Big chibi teary eyes* ;_; Joke? just onnnnneeee envvvyyyy-kuuuuuuuuuuunnn!
------Spaz7:(Envy) kdslsljf;sa
------Spaz7:(Envy) So there are these nuns and they are in a church and the priest has some holy water out and he says "now i want all of you to come up here and wash yourself where you have touched a penis to cleanse your sins."
------Spaz7:(Envy) so the first one goes up and washes her hands in the water.
------Spaz7:(Envy) the next one goes up and washes her ass in the water. the third one, who is blonde, says HEY, YOU MIND GETTING YOUR ASS OUT OF THERE, I HAVE TO GARGLE THAT NEXT!
TheRanjaBarkeep: .... *Dies*
------Spaz7:(Envy) there
------Spaz7:(Envy) a joke
TheRanjaBarkeep: *Dying laughing*
------Spaz7:(Envy) lol
TheRanjaBarkeep: Thank you. That'll be all ^-^
------Spaz7:(Envy) you are welcome
------Spaz7:(Envy) lol

I WILL get a joke out of you, should I decide to IM you for one. YUp. Uh-huh. Even if it takes me awhile.

TheRanjaBarkeep: *poke*
----------God(Chris): hey
TheRanjaBarkeep: What's up? And can you tell me a dumb blond joke?
----------God(Chris): nothing much, and sure
----------God(Chris): there was a blonde speeding on a highway and cut off this trucker
----------God(Chris): so he ran her down and forced her off the road
----------God(Chris): when he got out of his truck he drew a large circle on the ground, then he told the blonde to get out and stand in it
----------God(Chris): then he went over and put a deep scratch in her car, as he turned around he noticed the blond was laughing at him
----------God(Chris): so then the trucker broke in her windshield but the blonde was still laughing
----------God(Chris): the trucker was fed up with this and smashed up her whole car but when he looked back at the blonde she was still laughing
----------God(Chris): so finally the trucker marches over to the blonde and asks her 'why the hell are you laughing?! i just smashed up your car!'
----------God(Chris): to which the blonde replied 'when you werent looking i stepped out of the circle'
TheRanjaBarkeep: *Headdesk* Idiots.
----------God(Chris): thats my favorite one
TheRanjaBarkeep: It's funny.
TheRanjaBarkeep: And it makes me feel smart.
----------God(Chris): heh, cool

There really are people like that... not many, but they exist... very, very simpleminded.

TheRanjaBarkeep: OO... hello. Can I ask you for a favor, pammeh?
-------Pammy: sure
TheRanjaBarkeep: Tell me a dumb blond joke.
-------Pammy: hmmm
-------Pammy: *thinking*
-------Pammy: why did the blonde have tire marks on her back?
TheRanjaBarkeep: Why?
-------Pammy: because when the sign said "don't walk" she crawled
TheRanjaBarkeep: Heh. Makes me feel smart.
-------Pammy: lol i dont know many
TheRanjaBarkeep: One will do it. ^_^

I did that once. Save I ran instead of crawling. Yup. *nods*

TheRanjaBarkeep: PAPA!
Papa-------Sanzo: barkkeeep!!
TheRanjaBarkeep: ^_^\
Papa-------Sanzo: ^
Papa-------Sanzo: gah
Papa-------Sanzo: ^^
TheRanjaBarkeep: Okay. I come to ask for a favor.
TheRanjaBarkeep: *crickets* Papa?
Papa-------Sanzo: hai
Papa-------Sanzo: lol sorry havin trouble findin a Tenpou wig
Papa-------Sanzo: so im like @_@
TheRanjaBarkeep: Tell me a dumb blond joke.
Papa-------Sanzo: A dumb blonde joke,..
Papa-------Sanzo: trying to remember one
TheRanjaBarkeep: Take your time... you can even wait until the funkay crack high wears off if you need to.
Papa-------Sanzo: hmm okay its lmae but here goes
Papa-------Sanzo: This blonde walks into a hardware store and asks the guy at the cashier,"Can I buy that microwave?" He replies,"No im sorry we don't sell to blondes." So she goes home and dies her hair green.She goes back and asks" Can I buy that microwave?" "No im sorry we don't sell to blondes" So goes home and does the same thing with burnette, red, and blue. The last time she goes in she says "How do you always know who I am?" He replies "Because thats a T.V."
Papa-------Sanzo: lame*
Papa-------Sanzo: ^^
TheRanjaBarkeep: Hahah. Nice ^_^

Gotta love that. And I do suppose it WOULD be easier to just not sell than have to explain that that was actually a television.

TheRanjaBarkeep: OOOOO It's Mandee!
-------Mandy: YAH!!
TheRanjaBarkeep: Hey Mandee, tell me a dumb blond joke!
-------Mandy: oh gawd..I have THOUSANDS...hmmm
-------Mandy: How did the blond explain how his helicopter crashed?
TheRanjaBarkeep: how?
-------Mandy: He said it was getting cold, so he turned off the ceiling fan.
TheRanjaBarkeep: Heheh.
TheRanjaBarkeep: I heard a variation of that one earlier, methinks. Can you be the joke 2-for-1 deal again?
TheRanjaBarkeep: Pleeeeeeease?
-------Mandy: ok...lemme think of a good one
-------Mandy: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?
TheRanjaBarkeep: What?
-------Mandy: The blonde works in the dark!
TheRanjaBarkeep: Only sometimes.
TheRanjaBarkeep: Wait...
TheRanjaBarkeep: <-- Didn't just answer that
-------Mandy: LOL!!

Sometimes... when it's dark, instead of working, i'll sleep instead. >.>

Wow.

kat_darkwind@yahoo.com — Sat, 25 Mar 2006 18:08:45 GMT

Wow. I'm actually updating my LJ 3 times a week for once... Or at least I think the last two were within a week... but yeah. Something like that... anyway...

*Toodles around and stares at the LJ I finally got into code-tweaking* It's so purdyful!! I love Nasa's website, (Nasa.gov) You can get the most awesome space pictures there. The LJ is set up for a 1024x768 or so desktop, but it's still beautiful. I tweaked the comments too heh... can't change it without paying my very-obnoxious hiney. *moons LJ*

And... My friend is over. She's running a very high temperature and i'm still technically sick myself... *Frets around in circles and plays Nurse!Kat while driving her off to bed with a nice drugging of Nyquil.* Save... I'm ALWAYS fucking sick so I get over it in a day or so whenever I get it, regardless of what it is for the most part. So... I could be less concerned about myself anyway... unless I break 101 or am too dizzy unable to stand, my life goes on as does my day.

She keeps waking up in a coughing fit... and bah i'm going to gave to lose my babysitting job in the morning 'cause you don't want a little kid around your sick guest... but gah I could use the money. And... as I re-apply for another year at my current school how often I am sick worries me. How the hell am I going to get into a nice college, or keep a job like this? Missing a day a week, or a day every two weeks is ridiculous and out of the question. Though i'm usually okay during the summer and i'll miss a bit less when the court and dental crap is over... it's still alot. I've missed 5 of the last 10 days and it makes me concerned about my future at THIS school, let alone a higher-end reputable one.

You can be as smart and as hardworking --- AND AS ABLE TO MANAGE WITHOUT THOSE DAYS --- as you like, and no one will want you around anyway.
If you're losing all the time when it matters doing something else that isn't avoidable it just plain sucks.

And, that was me worrying.

Heheheh...

kat_darkwind@yahoo.com — Thu, 23 Mar 2006 03:14:09 GMT

Okay. Here's a survey I stole. It's the pwnagely long survey of d000mness, so I actually cut it. Because... it's that long.

For those of you that know what's up, I went to court. It went well. The super-expensive lawyer that my father had got his ass served by me. (( See picture for description ))The sentance went from 7-15 years to 15(min)-Life. I had fun playing poker and gin rummy with the social workers and shit during the breaks. I likes card games. Dad got his ass arrested on the spot, cuffed still wearing the suit after the preliminary, while he was supposed to have until the sentancing to be free. Bummer, you fat-fuck fucktard.

This was the lawyer. Lets not go into how bad Dad wound up.

(( Yes, I know I overuse this image, but I lobves it for some reason.))

Long [Annoying] Survey About Yourself
What time are you starting this?: 5:57 PM (PST)
Name?: Kat
Nicknames?: Eh... Whatever you want to call me. I'm not listing them all. {even if I could)
Date of birth?: 7/02/90
Sex?: Female... offline. Online I like remaining ... anonymous.
Height?: 5"4ish.
Eye color?: Blue.

Where were you born?: Santa Clara, CA. Samaritan Hospital
Number of candles on your last birthday cake?: 2. Pheer teh discount cangles
Pets?: 1 doggy and my fishies.
Hair color?: Very blond at the bottom, darker as it approaches my head.
Piercings?: ears.
Town you live in?: San Jose, CA. Cities suck.
Favorite foods?: Eh... Pizza, Spaghetti, Cakes, Pies...
Ever been to Africa?: no
Been toilet papering?: No, no one to paper with.
Love someone so much it made you cry?: If I had, i'll deny it ^_~
Been in a car accident?: Yes
Croutons or bacon bits?: Croutons
Favorite day of the week?: Any Day i'm not in school.
Favorite resturant?: The Fish Market
Favorite flower?: Sweet Peas
Favorite sport to watch?: Don't like watching as much as playing... Ice Skating to watch... is that a sport O.o?
Favorite drink?: Peppermint Schnapps... Minty things pwneth me.
Favorite ice cream flavor?: Hmm... I like most ice cream. Oreo chocolate chip, mint chocolate chip, choolate cookie dough and Rocky road.
Warner Bros. or Disney?: Warner Bros, because Disney gets really old and doesn't do any action movies.
Favorite fast food restuarant?: Sarku Japan.
Carpet color in your bedroom?: Same as in the rest of the house. nasty pale puke-pink.
How many times did you fail your driver's test?: N/a ... ;_; i wanna driveeee!!
Whom did you get your last email from?: Rah-Rah-kun... always spamming me some new--- nevermind.
What do you do most often when you are bored?: Sleep. And Im random people. ((Sometimes asking about lightbulbs :P ))
Most annoying thing to say to me?: Hmm... Probably when everything that's good that I worked for is attributed to god. "Praise the lord! He's bestowed us with his divine favor!!" ¬ ¬
Bedtime?: When I get tired and feel like it. Anywhere from 11-4.
Favorite TV show?: If it's actually TV then... Umm... I don't know... I don't watch much TV and when I do it's a movie or some special ^_^;;;
Last person you went out to dinner with?: Hmm... My mother. Ate mall-food.
Been out of country?: not yet
Believe in magic?: Eh, not in the sense this question is probably meant.
Ford or Chevy?: What's on sale?
What are you listening to right now?: Nothing ATM.
Have you ever failed a grade?: Nope.
If you have, what grade did you fail?: n/a
Do you have a crush on someone?: Not really.
Do you have a bf/gf?: No.
If so, what is their name?: N/A.
How long have you been together?: N/A
What are you wearing right now?: Some black pants and this red shirt that's comfy.
Would you have sex before marriage?: I'd have to think about that when I find someone actually worth screwing.
Have you ever had a crush on any of your teachers?: No.
Do you smoke?: No.
Do you drink?: Occasionally when it's left around.
Are you ghetto?: No.
Are you a player?: No.
What are your favorite colors?: Green, Silver, Black, Red.
What is your favorite animal?: Turtles, Fish.
Do you have any birthmarks?: Some little spots on my arms. Teeny.
Have you ever gotten your ass kicked?: No.
Who do you talk to most on the phone?: Nearly no one. I don't use the phone much.
Have you ever been slapped?: Yes.
Do you get online a lot?: No, I never get off to begin with.
Are you shy or outgoing?: Outgoing.
Do you shower?: ... WTF kind of question is that. YES, I DO.
Do you hate school?: Yes, it's boring.
Do you have a social life?: No.
How easily do you trust people?: No. I trust a grand total of 1 "people".
Do you have a secret people would be surprised knowing?: Yes.
Would you ever sky dive?: Yes, and bungee jump too.
Do you like to dance?: It's okay.
Have you ever been out of state?: Yes.
Do you like to travel?: YESH! GET ME THE HELL OU OF HERE!
Have you ever been expelled from school?: No.
Have you ever been suspended from school?: Almost, but no.
Do you want to get out of your hometown?: See two answers up. HELL YES!!
Are you spoiled?: In some ways.
Are you a brat?: Depends on when you see me and who you ask.
Have you ever been dumped?: No.
Have you ever gotten high?: Only high on life.
Do you like snapple?: Sokay. I like my own tea better though.
Do you drink a lot of water?: Not as much as I should.
What toothpaste do you use?: Whatever was on sale when I needed more.
Do you have a cell phone?: Yes.
Do you have a curfew?: If I was ever out I might :P
Who do you look up to?: *Looks around* Uhh... anyone over 5'4 :P
Are you a role model?: Eh... probably not the best one.
Have you ever been to Six Flags or Cedar Point?: Yes, Six Flags.
What name brand do you wear the most?: Umm... the only brand name I keep track of is on my underwear ;;;; >.>
What kind of jewelry do you wear?: A silver fing on my right middle finger. Maybe a necklace and earrings of some kind if I feel like it.
What do you want pierced?: Eh, just my ears are good.
Do you like takin pictures?: Yes. And sharing them.
Do you like gettin your picture taken?: Yes.
Do you have a tan?: Not even a partial one. My arms blind people ^_^
Do you get annoyed easily?: Depends on what it is.
Have you ever started a rumor?: No.
Do you have your own phone or phone line?: I have my cell phone, but it's off.
Do you have your own pool?: No. WTF am I, some rich bastard?
Do you prefer boxers or briefs?: Boxers.
Do you have any siblings?: None.
Have you ever been played?: No.
Have you ever played anyone?: Nope.
Do you get along with your parents?: No. Not at all. I just helped my fat-fuck fucktard father into what may be life imprisonment, and I want away from my homophobe obsessive christian mother.
How do you vent your anger?: I talk to people.
Have you ever ran away?: No, but if there was somewhere reasonable for me to go I would.
Have you ever been fired from a job?: NO I WANT A JOB!! ;_;
Do you even have a job?: No.
Do you daydream a lot?: Sometimes.
Do you have a lot of ex's?: No.
Do you run your mouth?: Meaning talk alot...? Depends on who it's to.
Do you have a tattoo?: No.
What do you want a tattoo of?: I don't want a permanent one, but if I had to get one it'd be a vine pattern around my left hand, because i've had one on there temporarily and I likes it.
What does your ex bf/gf look like?: N/A. MOST Guys can go to hell and fuck themselves with 2x4s. Wait, 4x4s...
What does your most recent crush look like?: N/A
Whats her/his name: N/A
Have you ever been bitched out?: Yes, often. I live with my mother and that's what my day consists of.
Are you rude?: Sometimes.
What was the last compliment you recieved?: It was indirect. In court the baliffs and the lawers aides were shit talking and I got it relayed to be. Apparently i'm "sharp" and I "Served" this top-notch lawyer.
Do you like getting dirty?: Yes. Dirt is almost alwayas fun.
Are you flexiable?: Flexible... Yes.
What is your heritage?: A melting pot of cultural crap. Whatever my ancestors screwed.
What is your lucky number?: Bah. No such thing.
What does your hair look like right now?: A messy ponytail 'cause I decided not to braid.
Could you ever be a vegetarian?: I could be, but I like eating meat.
If you had to completely dye your hair it'd be what color?: Silver-white.
Would you ever date someone younger than you?: Depends on how much younger.
Would you ever date someone older than you?: Depends on how much older.
When was the last time you were drunk?: Really shitfaced? I don't get my hands on enough to do that...
How many rings until you answer the phone?: I don't answer it, and if I do the answering machine has to go off first.
Have you ever been skinny dipping?: No, but it is something I would do.
If yes, when was the last time?: N/A
When was the last time you went on a date?: N/A
Do you look more like your mother or father?: Eh. Because i'm remotely female it's my mother, but more of my features came from dad.
Do you cry a lot?: No.
What phrase do you use most when on the phone?: I really don't know.
Are you the romantic type?: I don't know my taste in that.
Have you ever been chased by cops?: Kinda. I don't care to explain.
What do you like most about your body?: My hair.
What do you like least about your body?: It's limitations.
When did you have your first crush?: Hah, the stupid kiddy ones? Kindergarten.
When was the last time you threw up?: ... Maybe a month or so ago.
In the opposite sex, do you prefer blondes or brunettes?: Personality not hair. Hair can change.
Do you ever wear shirts that show your belly?: No, or it might not be so white...
What about cleavage?: Haha, no there's not an awful lot to show.
Is your best friend a virgin?: As far as I know, yes.
Have you ever fucked someone up?: ... I'll assume this is about physical injury not umm... loss of virginty. And yes I have.
Have you ever been fucked up?: No. I didn't get it bad. I wound up dishing it out.
What theme does your room have?: Big bed. Not a whole lot else.
What size shoe do you wear?: Men or Womens? Depends. Womans 81/2-91/2 usually.
What is your screen name on AIM?: TheRanjaBarkeep. Come and get it :P.
How are you feeling right now?: Tired and queasy.
When was the last time you were at a party?: Hmm... sometime this summer.
Have you ever given a lapdance?: Not offline :P.
Have you ever recieved one?: as before... Not offline.
Has there ever been a rumor spread about you?: Yes.
What is one of your bad qualilties?: I ignore people when they annoy me at all and I don't get their messages.
What is one of your good qualilties?: I can relax under stressful situations.
Would you marry for money?: No.
What do you drive?: No car yet >.<
Are you more of a mommys or daddys child?: I'm a grandma's girl.
When was the last time you cried in school?: Don't remember.
Would you ever hook up with the same sex?: Depends on who asked.
What kind of music do you like?: Eh, almost anything.
Would you ever bungee jump?: YES!
What is your worst fear?: Hmm... Now that I have someone I can trust I suppose it's being completely alone again, forever.
Would you ever join the army?: Naw, I use my brain not my ass... usually.
Do you like cows?: I've never been near enough to a living real cow. You says cow, I think dinnar.

Moosh

kat_darkwind@yahoo.com — Tue, 21 Mar 2006 05:33:52 GMT

IM-Saves about lightbulbs and Squirrel-Horror stories. Time for one about dentists. Nothing nasty, just what happens when dipshits get into dentistry.

Matter #1 (yes, that means there will be more at the bottom it you care to look) YAY!! I get to have the next stage of my teeth done soon!! But... getting there sucks ass, because I can't NOT have this particular dentist... and he knows it... so he scheduled me for an appointment with these two dipshit dental assistants from PREPPY HELL. And they BOTHERED me. (((( This turned out longer than I'd planned... skip to the next obvious section if you get too bored with it ^.~ ))))

They were new to his office. One (Dipshit 1/2) had worked on small children in dentistry apparently, which she bragged about...

I had to get impressions done of the top of my mouth for the implant spacing, and such. Impressions are basically when a dentist gets a plastic mouth-shaped thing, fills it with putty, jams it in your mouth, and waits for it to dry enough, then pull it out and has a mold of your teeth. I've had it done a bazillion times before, I didn't know why the hell they needed MORE impressions, but whatever. Sounds simple, Right? ... Fuck that. When is life EVER simple? To start, these impression trays were METAL. Which means cold, shaped less comfortably, and they taste like shit. So the impression goop is getting mixed. I'll call them disphit 1, and disphit 1/2. Dipshit 1/2 is mixing the stuff. "Dipshit 1: How much did you put in?" "Dipshit 1/2: four cups." [Or whatever measurement they used]"Dipshit 1: *watches her mix it* You make that look easy." So dipshit 1/2 takes the little flask, adds water like she's cooking and hums happily as she mixes as the office radio plays something obnoxious. Easy my ass. She didn't mix it right. It's supposed to have the consistency of putty- hers was like... sandy tapioca pudding. Dipshit 1/2 WAY OVERFILLS the little tray that's going to go in my mouth and I mentally say 'Just let this be over quickly...' I saw this all as it was coming in and Dipshit 1/2 was leaning closer... then she smiled at me like she would a little child and said "Open wide honey <3!!" So I groan mentally and make a note to flip her off on the way out of the office. She placed it over my teeth and pushed gently, trying to get the impression. Then the overfilled tray got to me. It SQUISHED. All over my mouth, and partially down my throat. I GAGGED and wheezed. "Dipshit 1/2: (who is taking the impression and has her fingers in my mouth ATM) Don't throw up, okay? The little kids used to throw up all the time because they were swallowing the cleaner, and the polishing--" I'm SWALLOWING the shit. I felt sorry for those little kids. The ONLY reason I DIDN'T throw up all over her is that I've had damn dentists in my mouth for so long. I sit there, gagging my ass off, unable to respond and I stare at the copy of Battle Royale, which is sitting on my lap. I wince mentally as a glob of impression shit that I cough out hits the cover. Dipshit 1/2 sighs and looks half-sad while smiling. "Dipshit 1/2: Oh, I'm sorry i'm torturing you" My face must have said "Fuck you" because she burst out laughing in her preppy voice. Like hell you're sorry. You're LAUGHING. And so is dipshit #1. FINALLY it's OVER and she pulls it out. Dipshit 1/2 smiles a big toothy grin. "See? Wasn't that easy! You were Sooooo good!!" I twitch mentally and wipe the blob of goop off of the book with a grumble. I only thought it was over. Dipshit #1 leans over dipshit 1/2 and looks at the mold. "Dipshit #1: It's not good. I think we have to take it again. There's not enough on the right side." Not Enough?!?!? FUCK!! MORE!! GIVE ME MORE, OH PRETTY PLEASE!! Dipshit 1 mixes the impression goop this time. She turns to her friend. "Dipshit 1: Am I doing it right?" Oh great. You ask her. Do I even WANT to look and see how you're doing? "Dipshit 1/2: *Looks* Umm... Yes, yes that's good." I am NOT reassured. Sure enough, it was even more sandy than the last. Think, wetsand instead of tapioca pudding. Dipshit 1/2 fills it up, sure enough adding more on the right side of the mold. I gag at the thought and pull a chunk of the first impression out of my mouth... better have room this time, Kat. Dipshit 1 has a great idea. "1: shouldn't we put the chair bach farther?" So they do. Until i'm almost flat on my back. It's NOT an operating table... But, they make it just as miserable as one. Then Dipshit 1/2 turns around and smiles. "Open big for me again, okay sweetie?" I eyetwitch slightly... and do so. Try #2. I want to get home, EAT and read my book. I have the tolerance for these dental-idiots, usually. The announcer for the radio comes on. He's loud. He says some crap about a free something... and then the song starts playing. It's "Tainted Love". Dipshit 1/2, who by now is in my mouth, as i'm gagging again, squeals and bounces slightly. "1/2: Do you know what that is??" Dipshit 1 looks baffled. "1/2: It's my favorite song!!" Then...she starts dancing, bouncing the thing around in my mouth and WAILING to the song in her annoying preppy voice. The gag wasn't just from the impression goop, which now falls into my mouth and gets eaten easier due to my positioning. She dances, and sways with her hand in my mouth. I swallow a bit of it, but whatever... i'll live, because it's almost done...
Note. Impressions take about 30 seconds. I could have sworn I was sitting there for a half hour. I was about ready to see how well my flimsy soft cover edition book did as a weapon. Finally... it comes out again. I snatch a papertowel, and empty my mouth of the impression goop. No comments of, "Oh we fail." Oh yay. I sit up and prepare to leave as 1/2 rants about how she did impressions in dental school and they went all over the place and she got so messy. Pros don't talk about dental school like it was yesterday... doesn't that figure. Whatever else she said went in one ear and out the other. Then her friend spoke. "Dipshit 1: OH! We needed the waxy-molds." "1/2: Oh yeah, doctor said we did!"

Then they did the Wax molds. Picture a flat little piece of wax it's got a very obvious colored marker to show which side is down. They stick it in VERY hot water, and then put it in your mouth, and you bite down. VERY VERY easy. I could do it myself, probably without my glasses on (or contacts in) if it wasn't for the very hot water part. Nope. For dipshit 1 and 1/2, this too was a challenge.

I'm going to cut it short, because you probably have a feel for their personalities by now. I'll even spare the part about them talking about the handsome construction workers that they could in the the building being built next door and how they could see into the bathroom of it, and they even washed their hands. Somehow, I doubt they were looking JUST to see if the workers washed their hands.
>>First mold. "1/2 Am I doing it right?" ... "1: No you put it in upside down" "1/2: *Preppy angst* Can I try again?" ... "1: *smiles* Uh huh."
>>Second mold.*1/2 Looks down* "OPEN WIDE!!!" I bite into it. "1/2 Is this good?" Half of the teeth on the left side were off of the impression. "1: No... it's crooked. Dr. Won't like that. Let me do it this time." I thought 1/2 was clueless...
>>Third mold. "1: So... how long are you supposed to heat it?" "1/2: Until it's just barely soft." I just wait. She tries again. It's too hard. My teeth don't go through, and it's obvious enough that even they don't have to argue about it."1/2: Oh darn. Looks like third time isn't the charm, honeybun." ... I am NOT your honeybun.
>> Fourth mold. I don't honestly REMEMBER what went wrong with this one. I don't even rmember which one tried it. Perhaps I partially blocked it all out out in the overwhelming feeling of annoyance that came with dealing with these people. The doctor was going to get my foot up his ass when he got back and I saw him next for using me as a testing dummy for such dipshits. I just remember 1 saying "Oh poopy. Let me go get a few more."
>> Fifth mold. This one gets heated. In my mouth. And it looks like it's going well. It comes out. 1 looks at it, then looks at 1/2. "1: You missed the very back teeth this time." Well bloody hell. Can I stop staring at your damn dental light now and get the wax molds done?
>> Sixth mold. "1/2 Fifth time is the ultimate charm!" I eyetwitched. 'This is the sixth.' I said. 1/2 frowned for a moment, the pulled out her beaming smile again. "1/2 then Sixth is the ultimate, ultimate charm!!" ... and ... the ultimate, ultimate charm worked. I didn't bother flipping them off on the way out, infact, I didn't even look at them. I was out in a flash. I ran. If they remembered something, they could contact me when someone with a brain was around to do it. Let my mother be useful for once and let her deal with the closing goodbyes and whatever. And so she did.

STUFF TO KNOW-- Ya know? For non dental comedy, my trial against my father continues on wednesday. If you don't know what that is, no worries. If you do, wish me luck. And because LJ STILL won't let me comment on anyones LJ, Lobve to those who read mine ^.~

And... to that one person who's having trouble, and maybe doesn't have the same skills everyone else has, or that a ""normal"" person is expected to have, you have talents and qualities that so many people don't have, and some of which I wish I had too. I know I can't do anything but be here and say I care. Which I do, almost unconditionally because i'm a softie like that. And I can't say it'll workout sometime soon, because miracles don't always just fall on you, but you fell on me and I'm going to pull out all my Hazel-stalking skills and haunt you online 'till the day my fingers fall off, I can't type with them anymore, my phone no longer works, and then, i'll find some way to type with my feet. I'm here and you can scream and yell if you wish, say whatever you damn well feel like, and i'll still be here because I refuse to be scared off. <3 (( Don't let the Hazel in me bug you, I only stalk you because I care ^.~ ))

kat_darkwind@yahoo.com — Sat, 11 Mar 2006 03:37:12 GMT

First order of business. Someone's name genator hit me dead on the spot, so I just had to post it. It's a pretty good generator, I recommend you try it, for shits and giggles.

My totally gay, Carlian nickname is Fantastic Bartender.
Take The "totally gay nickname Carl would give you" Name Generator today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.

Alrighty. Next order of business. I'm going to post a story. This came several years ago from a friend of mine. I don't know whether it is fact, partial fact, or complete bullshit. All I know, is that it is funny. You cam make up your mine about it after you read it. It's long, but funny.

I never dreamed slowly cruising through a residential neighborhood could be so incredibly dangerous! Studies have shown that motorcycling requires more decisions per second, and more sheer data processing than nearly any other common activity or sport. The reactions and accurate decision making abilities needed have been likened to the reactions of fighter pilots! The consequences of bad decisions or poor situational awareness are pretty much the same for both groups too.

Occasionally, as a rider I have caught myself starting to make bad or late decisions while riding. In flight training, my instructors called this being "behind the power curve". It is a mark of experience that when this begins to happen, the rider recognizes the situation, and more importantly, does something about it. A short break, a meal, or even a gas stop can set things right again as it gives the brain a chance to catch up.

Good, accurate, and timely decisions are essential when riding a motorcycle at least if you want to remain among the living. In short, the brain needs to keep up with the machine.

I had been banging around the roads of east Texas and as I headed back into Dallas, found myself in very heavy, high-speed traffic on the freeways.

Normally, this is not a problem, I commute in these conditions daily, but suddenly I was nearly run down by a car that decided it needed my lane more than I did. This is not normally a big deal either, as it happens around here often, but usually I can accurately predict which drivers are not paying attention and avoid them before we are even close. This one I missed seeing until it was nearly too late, and as I took evasive action I nearly broadsided another car that I was not even aware was there! Two bad decisions and insufficient situational awareness. All within seconds. I was behind the power curve. Time to get off the freeway. I hit the next exit, and as I was in an area I knew pretty well, headed through a few big residential neighborhoods as a new route home. As I turned onto the nearly empty streets I opened the visor on my full-face helmet to help get some air I figured some slow riding through the quiet surface streets would give me time to relax, think, and regain that "edge" so frequently required when riding. Little did I suspect.

As I passed an oncoming car, a brown furry missile shot out from under it and tumbled to a stop immediately in front of me. It was a squirrel, and must have been trying to run across the road when it encountered the car. I really was not going very fast, but there was no time to brake or avoid it-it was that close.

I hate to run over animals. And I really hate it on a motorcycle, but a squirrel should pose no danger to me. I barely had time to brace for the impact.

Animal lovers, never fear. Squirrels can take care of themselves!

Inches before impact, the squirrel flipped to his feet. He was standing on his hind legs and facing the oncoming Valkyrie with steadfast resolve in his little beady eyes. His mouth opened, and at the last possible second, he screamed and leaped! I am pretty sure the scream was squirrel for, "Banzai!" or maybe, "Die you gravy-sucking, heathen scum!" as the leap was spectacular and he flew over the windshield of my motorcycle and impacted me squarely in the chest.

Instantly he set upon me. If I did not know better I would have sworn he brought twenty of his little buddies along for the attack. Snarling, hissing, and tearing at my clothes, he was a frenzy of activity. As I was dressed only in a light t-shirt, summer riding gloves, and jeans this was a bit of a cause for concern. This furry little tornado was doing some damage!

Picture a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a t-shirt, and leather gloves puttering maybe 25mph down a quiet residential street. And in the fight of his life with a squirrel. And losing.

I grabbed for him with my left hand and managed to snag his tail. With all my strength I flung the evil rodent off the left of the bike, almost running into the right curb as I recoiled from the throw.

That should have done it. The matter should have ended right there. It really should have. The squirrel could have sailed into one of the pristinely kept yards and gone on about his business, and I could have headed home. No one would have been the wiser. But this was no ordinary squirrel. This was not even an ordinary pissed-off squirrel. This was an evil attack squirrel of death!

Somehow he caught my gloved finger with one of his little hands, and with the force of the throw swung around and with a resounding thump and an amazing impact he landed square on my back and resumed his rather anti-social and extremely distracting activities. He also managed to take my left glove with him!

The situation was not improved. Not improved at all. His attacks were continuing, and now I could not reach him. I was startled to say the least.

The combination of the force of the throw, only having one hand (the throttle hand) on the handlebars, and my jerking back unfortunately put a healthy twist through my right hand and into the throttle. A healthy twist on the throttle of a Valkyrie can only have one result. Torque. This is what the Valkyrie is made for, and she is very, very good at it. The engine roared as the front wheel left the pavement. The squirrel screamed in anger. The Valkyrie screamed in ecstasy. I screamed in...well...I just plain screamed.

Now picture a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans a slightly squirrel torn t-shirt, and only one leather glove roaring at maybe 70mph and rapidly accelerating down a quiet residential street on one wheel and with a demonic squirrel on his back. The man and the squirrel are both screaming bloody murder.

With the sudden acceleration I was forced to put my other hand back on the handlebars and try to get control of the bike. This was leaving the mutant squirrel to his own devices, but I really did not want to crash into somebody's tree, house, or parked car. Also, I had not yet figured out how to release the throttle as my brain was just simply overloaded. I did manage to mash the back brake, but it had little affect against the massive power of the big cruiser.

About this time the squirrel decided that I was not paying sufficient attention to this very serious battle (maybe he is a Scottish attack squirrel of death), and he came around my neck and got IN my full-face helmet with me. As the faceplate closed partway and he began hissing in my face I am quite sure my screaming changed tone and intensity. It seemed to have little affect on the squirrel however. The rpm's on The Dragon maxed out (I was not concerned about shifting at the moment) and her front end started to drop.

Now picture the large man on the huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a very ragged torn t-shirt, and wearing one leather glove, roaring at probably 80mph, still on one wheel, with a large puffy squirrel's tail sticking out his mostly closed full-face helmet. By now the screams are probably getting a little hoarse.

Finally I got the upper hand.I managed to grab his tail again, pulled him out of my helmet, and slung him to the left as hard as I could. This time it worked. Sort-of. Spectacularly sort-of, so to speak.

Picture the scene. You are a cop. You and your partner have pulled off on a quiet residential street and parked with your windows down to do some paperwork. Suddenly a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a torn t-shirt flapping in the breeze, and wearing one leather glove, moving at probably 80mph on one wheel, and screaming bloody murder roars by and with all his strength throws a live squirrel grenade directly into your police car.

I heard screams. They weren't mine...

I managed to get the big motorcycle under directional control and dropped the front wheel to the ground. I then used maximum braking and skidded to a stop in a cloud of tire smoke at the stop sign at a busy cross street.

I would have returned to fess up (and to get my glove back). I really would have. Really. But for two things. First, the cops did not seem interested or the slightest bit concerned about me at the moment. One of them was on his back in the front yard of the house they had been parked in front of and was rapidly crabbing backwards away from the patrol car. The other was standing in the street and was training a riot shotgun on the police cruiser.

So the cops were not interested in me. They often insist to "let the professionals handle it" anyway. That was one thing. The other? Well, I swear I could see the squirrel, standing in the back window of the patrol car among shredded and flying pieces of foam and upholstery, and shaking his little fist at me. I think he was shooting me the finger. That is one dangerous squirrel.

And now he has a patrol car.

I took a deep breath, turned on my turn-signal, made an easy right turn, and sedately left the neighborhood. As for my easy and slow drive home?

Screw it. Faced with a choice of 80mph cars and inattentive drivers, or the evil, demonic, attack squirrel of death...I'll take my chances with the freeway. Every time. And I'll buy myself a new pair of gloves.

-----

And thus, you learn the greatness of the squirrel. And wish to beat me over the head for once again, NOT cutting.

Lightbulb Jokes!!!

kat_darkwind@yahoo.com — Fri, 10 Mar 2006 03:02:01 GMT

Alrighty. So I was a on the AIM- and I decided to ask various people for... lightbulb jokes. For no particular reason, save that it's funny. Some original, some not. Most quite amusing.

TheRanjaBarkeep: Hmm. I'm trying to think of one of those "How many **** does it take to screw in a lightbulb?" jokes, but I can;t think of one.
---------Gojyo: O_o
---------Gojyo: How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
TheRanjaBarkeep: ..... One, if that woman is me... and your talking about a lightbulb in a lamp.
---------Gojyo: nope
---------Gojyo: Two
---------Gojyo: one to screw in the lightbulb and one to suck my dick
---------Gojyo: *smokes*
TheRanjaBarkeep: ... Kappa!
---------Gojyo: U.U
---------Gojyo: *lonely kappa*
TheRanjaBarkeep: You know i'm flexible enough for both!
TheRanjaBarkeep: Wait... I didn't say that <.<
---------Gojyo: >.>
TheRanjaBarkeep: ... Lightbulb jokes get different responses from everyone it seems.

And, of course the perverted one comes from the Kappa-sensei, as well as the idea.

TheRanjaBarkeep: Hmm. I'm trying to think of one of those "How many **** does it take to screw in a lightbulb?" jokes, but I can’t think of one.
PHOE-----: How many vikings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It's a trick question! Vikings don't change lightbulbs! When a lightbulb burns out, a Viking smashes the lamp on the ground, grabs his battle axe, and goes out to plunder a new lamp from his neighbor!
TheRanjaBarkeep: Heheh.
PHOE-----: i dunno rofl

And, Hakkai is new, original, and funny as hell.

TheRanjaBarkeep: Hmm. I'm trying to think of one of those "How many **** does it take to screw in a lightbulb?" jokes, but I can’t think of one.
Papa-------Sanzo: lol
TheRanjaBarkeep: Share one?
Papa-------Sanzo: lol i dont know any
TheRanjaBarkeep: Aww...
Papa-------Sanzo: lol
TheRanjaBarkeep: OH BE INSPIRED PAPA!!!
Papa-------Sanzo: lol
TheRanjaBarkeep: *Talks to Gojyo and links back to Papa* Papa was perhaps the funniest, just because she failed so miserably and set a new "Farting out LOL's" record. ---------Gojyo: LMAO *snort*
Papa-------Sanzo: lol
Papa-------Sanzo: i cant concentrate on the chat after awhile
Papa-------Sanzo: so many pretty shiny things
TheRanjaBarkeep: .....

I blame the funky crack.

TheRanjaBarkeep: Hmm. I'm trying to think of one of those "How many **** does it take to screw in a lightbulb?" jokes, but I can't think of one. Got one you wouldn't mind sharing?
----------God(Chris): how many dbz characters does it take?
TheRanjaBarkeep: How many?
----------God(Chris): just one but it takes three episodes
TheRanjaBarkeep: Lol!
----------God(Chris): heh, i think thats my best one
TheRanjaBarkeep: Hehe.

Maybe old, but still good.

TheRanjaBarkeep: Hmm. I'm trying to think of one of those "How many **** does it take to screw in a lightbulb?" jokes, but I can't think of one. Share one of yours?
FMA-------(Krystal): um how many crazy ppl....
FMA-------(Krystal): no no
FMA-------(Krystal): how many obssessed ppl
TheRanjaBarkeep: Yes...???
FMA-------(Krystal): oh
FMA-------(Krystal): i have to have an answer?
TheRanjaBarkeep: Yes.
TheRanjaBarkeep: ... hopefully.
FMA-------(Krystal): or how mand obsessive compulsive ppl does it take
FMA-------(Krystal): um 0 they too busy with something elsE?
FMA-------(Krystal): im bad at jokes
TheRanjaBarkeep: Hehe. It's all good. You win the failing at jokes but trying award ^_^
FMA-------(Krystal): lol
FMA-------(Krystal): yay

… If only I had a nickel for every time someone failed…

((This is a Non-ranger, don't try to recognise the name ^_^))
TheRanjaBarkeep: I'm trying to think of one of those "How many **** does it take to screw in a lightbulb?" jokes, but I can't think of one. Share one of yours?
Asuka-------: O.o.... i don't know any jokes...
Asuka-------: i am very plain...>.<
TheRanjaBarkeep: Oh bah.
Asuka-------: want to see the cutest thing in the world?
TheRanjaBarkeep: Sure.
Asuka-------: http://youtube.com/watch?v=K54uhB3v05E
Asuka-------: I WANT IT!!!!!!!!!!! *huggles it*
TheRanjaBarkeep: ....
Asuka-------: Not cute? O.o
TheRanjaBarkeep: Yes, cute.
Asuka-------: Yey…
Asuka-------: T,T i want one........
TheRanjaBarkeep: hehe.
Asuka-------: O.o....must have one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Asuka-------: it's like a dog that doesn't make a lot of noise...and bother you...>.<
TheRanjaBarkeep: Hehe... i'll keep the dog.
Asuka-------: >.<....bunny

… I don't think that's a joke... it's a BUNNY. And that's a guy there... a straight guy. That likes bunnies, apparently.

TheRanjaBarkeep: Hey Mandy, can you do me a favor?
-------Mandy: sure.....
TheRanjaBarkeep: Hmm. I'm trying to think of one of those "How many **** does it take to screw in a lightbulb?" jokes, but I can't think of one. Share one of yours ^_^?
-------Mandy: oh gosh....
-------Mandy: gimme a sec
-------Mandy: How many emo girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?
It takes 10.
One to actually screw in the bulb, one to write a song about it, and 8 to stand around and cry.
TheRanjaBarkeep: Hahaha.
TheRanjaBarkeep: ^_^
-------Mandy: i can't remember who told me that one
TheRanjaBarkeep: Hehe ^_^
-------Mandy: How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
-------Mandy: corny...
TheRanjaBarkeep: Hehe, yes.
TheRanjaBarkeep: But, still funny.
-------Mandy: hehe
-------Mandy: i heard others but I can't remember them
TheRanjaBarkeep: You were like a 2 for 1 deal on the lightbulb jokes.
-------Mandy: HAHAH
TheRanjaBarkeep: I got alot of random answers... you'd recognise all the people. I find it funny, personally. I might wind up saving it.
-------Mandy: O_o
-------Mandy: *tries to remember if she said naything embarrassing*
TheRanjaBarkeep: Heh... just... the jokes.
-------Mandy: lol
-------Mandy: whew

Well…….. I SAID just the jokes anyway… But the joke is the not-joke.

TheRanjaBarkeep: OOOOOO!!! SOMETHING YOU MUST DO!
---------Clex: okayyyyyyyy >.>
TheRanjaBarkeep: I'm trying to think of one of those "How many **** does it take to screw in a lightbulb?" jokes, but I can;t think of one. You MUST tell me one.
---------Clex: >.> uhhh
---------Clex: theres a rather risque one in BDS lol
TheRanjaBarkeep: ?? Huh?
---------Clex: yeah its in the deleted scenes
TheRanjaBarkeep: yeah?
---------Clex: connor: how many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb
murph: how many?
connor: one to actually screw in the bulb while the other F***in blows me...((or something to that effect))
---------Clex: then he gets kicked in the nuts
TheRanjaBarkeep: ... *DIES HORRIBLY* You would NOT believe how close that was to another I got, from someone who has NOT seen that movie.
---------Clex: REALLY?!
---------Clex: XD *laughs*
TheRanjaBarkeep: Really really.
---------Clex: hahaha
---------Clex: thats funny

... Or so you say <.< ... >.>

TheRanjaBarkeep: I'm trying to think of one of those "How many **** does it take to screw in a lightbulb?" jokes, but I can't think of one. Can you spare a moment and share one with me?
-------Pammy: I dont think I know any except for the blonde one
TheRanjaBarkeep: What blond one?
-------Pammy: oh I have one about sopranos
TheRanjaBarkeep: Oh? Do share.
-------Pammy: How many sopranos does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
TheRanjaBarkeep: How many?
-------Pammy: 2, one to stand on the chair to screw it in the other to kick the chair out from under her
-------Pammy: sopranos are known for being very competitive with eachother
TheRanjaBarkeep: Heh. Reminds me of someone I know...
-------Pammy: lol
-------Pammy: and I forgot how the blonde one goes
-------Pammy: oh yeah, how many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
TheRanjaBarkeep: One if it's me? :P
-------Pammy: one to hold the bulb, the other to hold the other one and turn her
-------Pammy: I think that's how it went
TheRanjaBarkeep: Heh. Nice.

*Shares Joke with Clexy*
TheRanjaBarkeep: <-- Blond
---------Clex: <---blond too
TheRanjaBarkeep: So uhh.... want to go screw in a lightbulb?
---------Clex: uh sure...i'll turn you
---------Clex: *was fixen to say "i'll screw you" but thought better of it*
TheRanjaBarkeep: Heh...
TheRanjaBarkeep: I'd laugh is you did.
TheRanjaBarkeep: And probably say something questionable.
---------Clex: lol
---------Clex: prolly
TheRanjaBarkeep: I was tempted to say "But I'd rather you were on top!" before you popped out with the "screw you" thing...

TheRanjaBarkeep: Hey... Sanzoooo... I'm trying to think of one of those "How many **** does it take to screw in a lightbulb?" jokes, but I can't think of one. Share one of yours ^_^?
----------Priest(Sanzo): hahaha
----------Priest(Sanzo): ummmm
----------Priest(Sanzo): how many kappas does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
TheRanjaBarkeep: ... How many?
----------Priest(Sanzo): just one, a kappa can screw in anything.
TheRanjaBarkeep: ROFL! Heheh... Nice ^_^
TheRanjaBarkeep: Quite possibly the best I've heard yet ^_^
TheRanjaBarkeep: You win at life ^_^ (for the time being)
----------Priest(Sanzo): he he he

SANZO WINS AT LIFE!!! ((For once... or was it twice?))

And that concludes the intallment of "Never tell he barkeeper a lightbulb joke." If you are in the odd percentage of the population that actually is interested in sharing lightbulb jokes... feel free to toss me an IM, mine's up there just waiting for you ^_^.

--Kat--

I rememberded! ...

kat_darkwind@yahoo.com — Tue, 21 Feb 2006 10:57:35 GMT

Wow, I remembered my LJ. I need to remember to finish off the code on the poor thing though. I'm probably going to rely on the form of coding for the forums I work on, some of the stuff in these makes me go "WTF?" and I really don't want to learn another web-page code... Whatever programmer decided to have so many versions needs to rot. Oh, I need to clean my fishtanks, and do some filter work on the BIG tank... I hate cleaning up several month old solidified fish shit out of the damn filter -_-. Fish crap is just fine, but the stuff gets worse, and it's EFFORT to clean it out. *Flails at it* Last time I did a filter, it was on the little tank and the thing 'sploded on me and covered me in 5 gallons of fish shit. I was not pleased. 5 gallons isn't that bad, the little tank is still... 50 gallons? Maybe 75? I forgot. The fish were okay, and so was the carpet. Just gave me a rather fishy flavor for a bit. The big one is... 250, or 300. Something like that, it's custom built. I <3 my fishies, but oh man cleaning the filters is evil. *HAPPY* When he gets a little bit larger, I can finally move my super-mild, gold severum out of the tetra tank so he stops trying to eat my cardinal tetras! Yay! I lobve that fish...

The pictures are cut... because it's stretching my page, and that's annoying. LOOK AT THE FISHES OR I EET JOO! <3333

This is a Gold Severum, They come in greenish with stripes too, I just have a gold ATM.

These are the cardinal tetras he's harassing, they are... about 1/3 his length, and... since it's them VS him, they are so dead if he gets serious. Which he eventually will, 'cause putting together tetras and cichlids is like mixing acids and bases- they cancel out. And in this case, it's size and power over quantity.

*FISHFLAIL* And that is all.

I HAVE ONE

kat_darkwind@yahoo.com — Wed, 08 Feb 2006 06:14:41 GMT

Okay, yay. I finally have a livejournal. However, coding a stylesheet for this thing right now can go screw itself.

And, once again a day of way too much Saiyuki pwns my ass hard. I'm sittin' here and I can't even remember the HTML for a picture. (NOT the /img tags, I know that even so very thouroughly pwned.) *Rolls in the mush of brain* Well in anycase, I'm here, and today was a day. Tomarrow's going to be a hard day, but I'll have fun living in it.

Gah... It's like... *PWN ON YOUR PWN AND YOUR PWNS PWN*